Love: Today, I realized that I've been a member of eHarmony for almost...

By Anon - 13/06/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I've been a member of eHarmony for almost a year. No one has ever contacted me out of the 134 people I've been "scientifically" matched with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 545

You deserved it 7 314

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By z - 05/11/2009 17:20 - United States

Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 478

You deserved it 5 454

By Singleforever - 08/08/2016 12:40 - United States - West Hartford

Today, I finally matched with someone on Tinder after using it for a month. I sent a message and they unmatched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 131

You deserved it 1 227

By looking - 25/09/2009 18:16 - United States

Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 397

You deserved it 17 642

By DrakeScott - 02/11/2011 18:14 - United States

Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 994

You deserved it 5 851

By Rajin - 23/03/2009 20:38 - Canada

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125 821

You deserved it 16 863

The curse

By Anonymous - 04/05/2020 20:00

Today, at a time when dating app usage is at an all time high, in 3 months I've only managed 4 likes and one brief match on Bumble. I'm not terrible looking by any means, yet I'm weeks away from my 8-year anniversary of being single. Am I cursed or something? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 245

Women be smiling

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 03:00

Today, it's not enough that men IRL tell me to smile, now the dating apps have OK'd this and decided it's fine to send me email with a stock phrase saying, "[Match's name] wants to see you smile back!" Online dating is the bane of my existence but also my best bet for not being single forever. Curse you, eHarmony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 297

By sad sack. - 18/01/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 005

You deserved it 2 903

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 15:05 - United States

Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 832

You deserved it 4 375

Trawling

By Adil Ilahi - 05/06/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - Keighley

Today, my friends yet again told me to hop on Tinder and other dating sites, saying how easy it is to match up, and I keep telling them I will soon. In reality, I've been on them for weeks, without a match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 867

You deserved it 316

coopcas 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 12:18

eHarmony is full of bigots, anyhow. Go out more, you're wasting your money. They don't even accept gays, the bastards.

24788 6

Saturday 13 June 2009 12:14

Why don't you try contacting them?

Comments

fmelots 9

Thursday 2 May 2013 2:07

The word 'science' is used loosely in the context of dating sites. The lack of interest probably has to do with the way you market yourself online. Ask somebody to help give your profile a facelift.

nursetonks 3

Sunday 1 September 2013 9:02

I tried that site, matched with only 3 people in a year.....

The_9th_Doctor 18

Wednesday 4 September 2013 4:06

I feel your pain

W_Surgenor 7

Wednesday 16 April 2014 20:33

Stop being ugly?

fantasyworld 37

Monday 1 December 2014 15:41

Eharmony sucks. They don't have an option for gays because they want to match people who will marry. I'm sure there are people on that site who have no interest in marriage. Based on the commercials they seem obsessed with it.

TallMist 32

Wednesday 6 May 2015 3:24

Screw eHarmony. They don't even allow same-sex relationships. I tried signing up once and saw there was no option for gays, lesbians, or bisexuals.

Missythemini 20

Sunday 24 May 2015 21:47

dating sites are rough if you're a male. I found my fiancé on okcupid.com. it worked out fine for me...I have social anxiety and no interest in screwing around with guys from my own college on top of my classes. It worked out just fine.