Intimacy: Today, I realized that my husband and I are at that point in...

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By oldsoulyoungbody - 30/01/2012 15:07 - United States

Today, I realized that my husband and I are at that point in our marriage where "sleeping together" means scooting closer to each other in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 327

You deserved it 4 194

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Same thing different taste

By sninapeters - 22/12/2011 05:31 - United States

Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 471

You deserved it 37 048

Just once

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 20:00

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 206

Exhausted

By snoozes - 16/11/2021 11:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 255

Frustrated

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 06:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I realised it’s been too long since my partner and I have had sex. How do I know? This is the third night in a row he’s humped me in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 1 063

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 092

You deserved it 2 895

By meow - 14/01/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 777

You deserved it 4 497

By hoody - 22/01/2010 22:27 - United States

Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 486

You deserved it 5 920

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 078

You deserved it 16 181

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 08:56 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 161

You deserved it 5 979

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 825

You deserved it 3 870

krushr 3

Monday 30 January 2012 18:57

Just keep scooting until your genitals get stuck together.

shireeniee 8

Monday 30 January 2012 18:58

And then wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah!

Comments

bestscabpicker 6

Monday 30 January 2012 23:54

Be glad that you are in bed together! Try reaching out to him, maybe he feels the same ! Good lick, I mean luck

bubo_fml 10

Monday 30 January 2012 23:55

Sex on a scooter sounds quite moving...

Nashiq 8

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:36

you and me both. :(

mooseknuckle00 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:41

That's because he's "sleeping" with someone else.

warren8100 2

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:44

Put up or put out!

stevesaik 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:05

Try to talk to him. Communication is a big plus. Let him know how you feel. If he loves you, he will do what it takes to make you happy.

LADiiL0KA24 11

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:23

Time to spice up your sex life

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:25

**** it. Might as well go play some video games since no one gives a shit.

thewife5 19

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:53

I hope you guys make it over this hump soon.

l0v3p4in 7

Tuesday 31 January 2012 2:04

OP figure out or just simply ask him what turns h

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The Top

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 947

You deserved it 3 363

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 70

The Top

Today, I fell down the stairs, and my uncle came rushing over because he thought it was his 1 year old son. He saw me lying on the ground and said, "Oh. It's you," and then left to watch the hockey game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 935

You deserved it 3 091

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 167

You deserved it 5 930

Today, I got to go back into my house after it had been tented. Suddenly, a foul stench filled my house. My husband checked all around the house and finally checked under the house. There were more than 12 dead stray cats under our house, and guess who was in charge of pulling them out? FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 231

You deserved it 3 767

Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 331

You deserved it 3 266

Today, it's my 25th birthday, I celebrated it by cooking my favourite meal for my parents and sister, while they watched TV and house-hunted for my sister. I have yet to hear a happy birthday, receive a card, a present or a phone call. Oh, and my parents are on a diet, so they complained my cooking wasn’t "on their plan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 187

Today, I went about pet-proofing my house because my new kitten is exploring every nook and cranny. I locked up everything dangerous. Then, while trying to put a safety lock on the pantry/cold room, I managed to lock myself inside. I had to yell for my roommate to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 368