Intimacy: Today, I realized that my husband and I are at that point in...

By oldsoulyoungbody - 30/01/2012 15:07 - United States

Today, I realized that my husband and I are at that point in our marriage where "sleeping together" means scooting closer to each other in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 312

You deserved it 4 193

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By sninapeters - 22/12/2011 05:31 - United States

Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 468

You deserved it 37 041

Just once

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 20:00

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 201

Exhausted

By snoozes - 16/11/2021 11:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 252

Frustrated

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 06:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I realised it’s been too long since my partner and I have had sex. How do I know? This is the third night in a row he’s humped me in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 1 050

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 075

You deserved it 2 890

By meow - 14/01/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 4 494

By hoody - 22/01/2010 22:27 - United States

Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 485

You deserved it 5 915

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 056

You deserved it 16 176

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 08:56 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 152

You deserved it 5 978

Bae goals

By ninithel - 02/09/2021 16:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that when my partner says, "Let's cuddle up, watch something and spend the night together," he means ,"I'm gonna wank and fall asleep at 8.30 with my phone playing videos." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 188

krushr 3

Monday 30 January 2012 18:57

Just keep scooting until your genitals get stuck together.

shireeniee 8

Monday 30 January 2012 18:58

And then wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah!

Comments

bestscabpicker 6

Monday 30 January 2012 23:54

Be glad that you are in bed together! Try reaching out to him, maybe he feels the same ! Good lick, I mean luck

bubo_fml 10

Monday 30 January 2012 23:55

Sex on a scooter sounds quite moving...

Nashiq 8

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:36

you and me both. :(

mooseknuckle00 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:41

That's because he's "sleeping" with someone else.

warren8100 2

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:44

Put up or put out!

stevesaik 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:05

Try to talk to him. Communication is a big plus. Let him know how you feel. If he loves you, he will do what it takes to make you happy.

LADiiL0KA24 11

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:23

Time to spice up your sex life

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:25

**** it. Might as well go play some video games since no one gives a shit.

thewife5 19

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:53

I hope you guys make it over this hump soon.

l0v3p4in 7

Tuesday 31 January 2012 2:04

OP figure out or just simply ask him what turns h

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Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 250

You deserved it 207

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

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Today, I was fired from a job I didn't have. The manager in charge of calling me to tell me if I got the job never called, and never called me back when I left messages. The only time he called me was to fire me for not coming to orientation, which, by the way, he never called to tell me about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 175

You deserved it 2 508

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 622

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gunpoint, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 592

You deserved it 12 846

Today, I had an amazing date with an amazing guy, but he hadn't realized he doesn't have time for a relationship, and I don't have the emotional capacity. It's just the wrong time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 191

Today, I thought I was having a nice day at work, until I had a client who paid me $376 in rolls made of 0.05 and 0.10. It took me an hour to count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 107

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 630

You deserved it 2 849