Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock...

By Stormbringer - 01/02/2011 06:37

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 458

You deserved it 4 119

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Same thing different taste

By andromeda80 - 28/03/2012 13:52 - United States - Lakewood

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 495

You deserved it 2 817

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 818

You deserved it 2 731

By peepeepainter - 07/01/2014 02:25 - United States - Jasper

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 338

You deserved it 8 126

Stained

By Anonymous - 06/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 207

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 361

You deserved it 3 449

By spaceforrent - 16/11/2012 05:51 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 384

You deserved it 3 016

By Anonymous - 11/07/2011 07:42 - Australia

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 595

You deserved it 3 285

By historyrepeats - 11/07/2019 04:00

Today, I woke up to a Swastika, "Go home" and "Trump2020" spray-painted on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 620

You deserved it 318

Together forever

By Will - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 265

You deserved it 5 165

Remodeling

By Spelit - 13/08/2010 19:45 - United States

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 015

You deserved it 13 620

x_Cupcakes 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 12:10

Black and yellow! (:

DahkLohd 4

Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:03

You could have just said "black ****." "Giant black ****" is a bit redundant.

Comments

perdix 29

Tuesday 1 February 2011 13:53

Paint your house black so someone will spray-paint a yellow **** on your house. If the stereotype about Asian cocks is true, it will be too small for anyone to see.

lolbrick 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 14:03

i lol'd

ThatGuyFromNZ 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 14:25

awesome

hahafylop 4

Tuesday 1 February 2011 14:53

Haha perdix you've done it again :)

lol_ironic_life 9

Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:34

lol nice comment Perdix! I want to favorite it! Random comment - "I <3 massive **** too" hehe!

ilovesexywomen 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 23:02

LMAO

katgurl 13

Wednesday 2 February 2011 8:22

I was waiting for an Asian post rofl.. I don't think most Asians can cover up a Black **** anyway. ;] HAHA

DaTurdTickler 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 14:20

at least it was a BBC you should be proud

jrod45 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 14:33

ye! ah ah! you know what it is!!! black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow!!!

jrod45 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 14:33

ye! ah ah! you know what it is!!! black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow!!!

TryptamineDreame 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 14:38

It's black history month. The person that did this is probably just trying to remind you by drawing a big fat black dick on your house. At least keep it up until March :)