Miscellaneous: Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side... - FML

By scarredforlife - 16/08/2012 04:05 - United States - Bethesda

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 853

You deserved it 1 875

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Same thing different taste

By liilii - 30/08/2014 16:40 - India - Trivandrum

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 700

You deserved it 6 700

By Blood on my hands - 07/08/2013 05:40 - United States

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 165

You deserved it 25 750

By anon - 21/11/2012 19:34 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 919

You deserved it 6 363

By Anonymous - 06/08/2018 22:00

Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 078

You deserved it 277

By TheRoad42 - 20/08/2013 12:54 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 730

You deserved it 2 732

By Funyearahead - 08/08/2016 12:44 - United States - Red Bank

Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 684

You deserved it 954

By carrottop - 07/01/2011 12:12 - Australia

Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 150

You deserved it 3 035

Smart

By mother of a complete idiot - 16/03/2021 21:30

Today, my daughter left a plate of food in her room for two hours. When I yelled at her about ants, her response was, "But I thought it took DAYS for ants to show up!" I raised this dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 929

Queen

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 15:34 - United States

Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 735

You deserved it 16 271

By awkwardpineapples - 08/01/2015 03:13 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 876

You deserved it 2 634

Next

Top comments

peachesncreem 21

Thursday 16 August 2012 12:39

And how does she think she's going to achieve that?

sisterjameela 7

Thursday 16 August 2012 12:41

How was she trying to revive them? Was there a mini ER or an ant hospital? I cant wrap my mind around this.

Comments

DocBastard 38

Thursday 16 August 2012 13:34

Necromantsy by Dr. Frankantstein. Cool.

GothicAngel17 24

Thursday 16 August 2012 14:43

Damn 'baby brain', I actually thought you had made a spelling mistake Doc. I was horrified for at least an entire minute before my brain actually clicked.

KingCeltic77 18

Thursday 16 August 2012 13:37

Arkays light will pour in and destroy her necromancy.

superhumangambit 4

Thursday 16 August 2012 13:58

She clearly belongs in a padded room.

Alastrina_fml 20

Thursday 16 August 2012 14:00

Your sister is nuts!

Ozuru 11

Thursday 16 August 2012 15:40

No shit.

clauudss 2

Thursday 16 August 2012 14:03

Wait, how old is she?

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Thursday 16 August 2012 14:05

If you create an ant hospital, I will destroy it. I am allergic to them, and I hate them. They steal my pies.

foshizzle82 7

Thursday 16 August 2012 14:15

Everyone needs a hobby. Some like to read, some play sports, others try to revive dead ants...

loserboii 11

Thursday 16 August 2012 14:19

Dead ants, then animals, then people. My god your sister might be the reason 2012 becomes true.

ch3s 4

Thursday 16 August 2012 17:45

Ants and humans are both animals.

babe7260 30

Thursday 16 August 2012 14:20

She sounds like she needs a councillor !!

Myo_fml 20

Thursday 16 August 2012 17:04

And you sound like you need a grammar and spelling teacher.

dashizam 10

Thursday 16 August 2012 14:29

32-when they evolve, we shall kill them with head and shoulders.

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The Top

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 145

You deserved it 7 104

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 995

You deserved it 1 053

The Top

Today, my sister got married. For the second time. She's 30. Two men have loved her enough to cry over their vows to her. Every single person there asked me why I wasn't married yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 718

You deserved it 3 214

Today, I fell asleep on the bus after a long day. I woke up to the driver nudging me, saying, "End of the line, mate." I had no idea where I was, and it was raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 133

Today, I'm being forced to keep an eye on my cousin, who is getting married in the morning. He’s tried to marry his fiancé before and chickened out at the altar. For some reason she forgave him and now the bride's mother has made it my job to watch him like a hawk until after the "I Do-s", or else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 92

Today, I had to take out the grease traps from our fryers. A very rude co-worker cut me off, so I had to abruptly stop and try to prevent as much spilling as possible. Luckily, it only spilled on me. I'm here for six more hours with burned, smelly, greasy spots all over my skin and clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 615

You deserved it 335

Today, my mom caught me vaping weed oil and tried to ground me. I’m 33 years old, with my own wife and kids, weed is legal in this state with a medical card, and I use it to treat the seizures I’ve had since mom belted me around the head as a kid, giving me brain damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 107

You deserved it 252

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 190

You deserved it 3 161