Miscellaneous: Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were...

By JellitonOctopus - 25/01/2012 04:51 - United States

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 994

You deserved it 2 662

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Same thing different taste

What was in the box?

By Anonymous - 29/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 145

Thanks, I hate it

By CabbageFart92 - 04/09/2017 01:30

Today, a package was delivered to my house. Thinking it was my new blender, I hurriedly brought it in to open it. Inside the box was an assortment of rotten vegetables that stank like Satan's asshole. I have no idea who it's from or why they hate me so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 623

You deserved it 329

Thanks UPSDHLFML

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 04:59

Today, my friend received a package I sent her by mail. The package was already ripped open on arrival, two out of the three blouses I sent her were missing and a limited edition glass cup I sent her with the apparel was smashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 77

By Anonymous - 04/10/2014 14:58 - United States - Chicopee

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 962

You deserved it 3 210

Thanks, I hate it

By ZeldaovaPeach - 05/07/2016 12:44 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 236

You deserved it 1 207

Porch piracy

By Denofthieves - 16/09/2022 16:00

Today, I received a text saying that a package had just been delivered to the house. By the time I reached the front door, it had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 110

What is happening right now?

By Kevin can't wait - 21/09/2024 12:00 - France - Brest

Today, I got a notification from a delivery carrier that my package had been delivered. I opened the door to find a perfectly wrapped box with no address, no label, and a note inside saying, "You’ll know when it’s time." I still don’t know what it means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 75

The nerve!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2021 20:01

Today, a couple of packages were stolen from our apartment doorstep shortly after being delivered. A little while later, the thief brought the torn packaging back and left them at the bottom of our stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 83

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 18:00

Today, I got a package containing a present from my grandma. It was a pack of cookies someone gave her for her birthday, and which no one in the family wanted to take home when she offered, because we all found the cookies disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 166

By alexbobalex - 11/01/2010 07:23 - Aland Islands

Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 921

You deserved it 57 634

Rickilynn1 10

Wednesday 25 January 2012 9:01

You have a secret admirer!

azad_fml 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 9:03

This is a "wtf" situation

Comments

5HT2A 5

Wednesday 25 January 2012 9:53

Be thankful! At least someone's thinking about you. You are officially not forever alone.

khaya 9

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:05

I guess you didn't order from amazon.

Ozone1232 5

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:06

I'm trying to think of what rhymes with wives...

goofff 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:10

Knives?

rogue2888 4

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:21

Better than a family members finger and a note I guess

Lowwbaby22 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:27

That sounds like a good time!

rowengruven 7

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:29

Whoever sent the package is quite obviously a butt head. :-P

Lowwbaby22 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:30

That sounds like a good time!

Ozone1232 5

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:36

Hives?

tony262626 1

Wednesday 25 January 2012 10:53

Lucky! You got that for free!

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The Top

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 937

You deserved it 6 045

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 363

You deserved it 5 630

The Top

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years cheated on me. His reason? "You were flirting with me for a whole year before us when you had a whole boyfriend at the time. How do I know you aren't a cheater?" His further reasoning was that at least if I cheated on him, he'd have a reason to stay with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 406

Today, the girl I thought I was dating introduced me to her boyfriend. We've gone on dates and have slept in the same bed, but it turns out she thought I was her gay best friend and was planning to introduce me to her boyfriend's brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 391

You deserved it 882

Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 656

Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 191

You deserved it 130 755

Today, my mom took medical advice from her friend over mine. Her friend sells cheese and I'm a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 127

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 780

You deserved it 55 520

Same thing different taste

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