Miscellaneous: Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was...

By Grandson - 01/01/2012 13:51 - Australia

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 877

You deserved it 2 745

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Same thing different taste

By Michelle - 01/09/2010 08:27 - Netherlands

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 993

You deserved it 3 471

By tkoester - 29/08/2015 04:29 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 996

You deserved it 1 570

By Anonymous - 31/05/2014 20:04 - United States - Brandon

Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 895

You deserved it 3 887

Who are you?

By forgotten - 02/10/2009 07:46 - United Kingdom

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 511

You deserved it 2 849

By nyebust - 01/01/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 215

You deserved it 8 144

By badgrandchild - 16/03/2009 21:01 - United States

Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 616

You deserved it 92 131

Framed

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 04:00

Today, the police turned up. It turns out the girl I slept with two nights ago was burgled. She told my great aunt, who happens to live next door to her. They then told my grandparents, who then told my mum. I'm now a suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 176

By newniece - 27/01/2010 00:09 - United States

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 988

You deserved it 2 562

By Paul - 08/08/2011 01:49 - United States

Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 437

You deserved it 2 927

By Anonymous - 01/08/2015 03:39 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 502

You deserved it 1 924

jemmers 13

Sunday 1 January 2012 19:03

Go grandma! At least she had fun.

kjcamaro3 5

Sunday 1 January 2012 19:03

Come on granny....roll those hooters back up!

Comments

WaSiSimiLang 8

Sunday 1 January 2012 19:18

MY EYES... ARE BURNING!!! Or was that just a few brain cells from the mental image?

Liimitless 6

Sunday 1 January 2012 19:19

Rawr

every1luvsboners 11

Sunday 1 January 2012 19:25

She was wearing clothes, just forgot her bra. Her **** were probably dragging on the ground. Unfortunately that is a form of indecent exposure.

gev 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 19:26

Poor guy, got a granny that's still got spunk. Go granny!

yourlove13 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 19:38

granny has more game than you ever will(:

kickuwithmyfist 1

Sunday 1 January 2012 19:40

YES!

TourettesGuy69 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 19:41

Yer Grandma is a beast

GenaALazer 22

Monday 2 January 2012 0:03

flip

OsirisFaction_fml 5

Sunday 1 January 2012 19:43

Grandma got crunk.

ridin_n3rdii 6

Sunday 1 January 2012 19:48

looks like your grandma goes hard!

smallsmerry123 5

Sunday 1 January 2012 19:50

Was she in the same colony that the 10 year old boy went to?

silentbutfunny 0

Monday 2 January 2012 2:34

I don't think anybody would consider that "indecent" over there...

pyromania21 0

Monday 2 January 2012 19:05

wen it comes to grannies it's indecent no matter where they are

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 15 057

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 654

The Top

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 630

You deserved it 4 869

Today, my mother learned a new expression and uses it in every sentence. Her special, new expression is "boom diggity." It's apparently "hip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 154

Today, I've been requesting to use my days off for months, but my boss would turn it down because of emergencies that required my presence (90% of the time it didn’t). Now it’s the end of year and he yelled at me for not using my days off, because it made him look bad to corporate. Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 91

Today, I blew Christmas out of my nose. Out of one nostril came thick green mucus, and out of the other, thick red blood. Let the holiday season begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 147

Today, I went on a date with a guy who kept checking his phone every five minutes. When I asked him if everything was okay, he told me he was just playing Candy Crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 105

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of a sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House MD was on. He'd stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 419

You deserved it 15 281

Same thing different taste

Who are you?

Framed

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