Intimacy: Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

By pops up - 01/12/2011 22:25 - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 375

You deserved it 10 650

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Same thing different taste

By hotmommy - 20/12/2010 00:23

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 245

You deserved it 6 635

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 017

You deserved it 6 152

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 059

You deserved it 4 410

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 907

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 4 347

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 092

You deserved it 16 272

By lonewolf2701 - 22/11/2009 09:15 - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 562

You deserved it 4 278

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 2 821

By unknown - 17/12/2012 11:37 - Canada

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 502

You deserved it 6 881

phatdaddy62 23

Friday 2 December 2011 9:11

Welcome to the "North Pole!"

koala7_fml 2

Friday 2 December 2011 9:07

Merry Christmas!

Comments

skeezle 0

Friday 2 December 2011 10:23

Looks like Santa wants to stuff your stocking lol ;)

lex1459 38

Friday 2 December 2011 10:26

Guess he made the naughty list this year hey?

ScarletBloom 14

Friday 2 December 2011 10:26

It was his disco stick.

melliemoo17 6

Saturday 3 December 2011 2:32

Lady Gaga reference ftw!

iliketurdles 7

Saturday 3 December 2011 3:43

'Lady Gaga' and 'FTW' should never be in the same sentence. Ever.

XxNINJA_28xX 8

Friday 2 December 2011 10:33

Now that's just creepy

hellhound99 4

Friday 2 December 2011 10:49

Santa wants you for Christmas

detorio 2

Friday 2 December 2011 10:53

Hopefully you didn't pose for a pic... That'd be an awkward picture :|

Nicostream 16

Friday 2 December 2011 11:16

Pedobear is getting more and more clever. Dressing like Santa...Well played Pedobear...Well played.

beautious19 8

Friday 2 December 2011 21:20

Lol

getoustahere 7

Friday 2 December 2011 11:50

How is this an fml?!?!?! You gave him a boner, be happy!

chels1994 11

Friday 2 December 2011 11:59

Merry Christmas to you (;

Jimboom 11

Friday 2 December 2011 11:59

Comehere you little monkey... Santa's got a choo-choo train for you.

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Same thing different taste

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