Intimacy: Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

By pops up - 01/12/2011 22:25 - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 382

You deserved it 10 652

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
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Same thing different taste

By hotmommy - 20/12/2010 00:23

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 250

You deserved it 6 636

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 280

You deserved it 5 630

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 026

You deserved it 6 154

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 066

You deserved it 4 410

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 910

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 615

You deserved it 4 349

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 095

You deserved it 16 275

By lonewolf2701 - 22/11/2009 09:15 - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 568

You deserved it 4 278

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 2 821

By unknown - 17/12/2012 11:37 - Canada

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 507

You deserved it 6 882

phatdaddy62 23

Friday 2 December 2011 9:11

Welcome to the "North Pole!"

koala7_fml 2

Friday 2 December 2011 9:07

Merry Christmas!

Comments

dhiran_singh 16

Friday 2 December 2011 12:10

Anybody want a box of condoms for Christmas?

jlperry31 10

Friday 2 December 2011 12:19

why are u sitting in santas lap of your old enough to be on this app

stevenmx86 7

Friday 2 December 2011 12:28

69, because teenagers think it's cute to act like stupid children for some reason.. It made me less fearful for humanity when they "grew up too fast".. At least then we knew they had an idea how to grow up..

MarjoCupcake 11

Friday 2 December 2011 12:28

It seems Santa's from the South Pole and you're on the naughty list. ;)

shazza26 1

Friday 2 December 2011 12:41

What about mrs claus!?

shazza26 1

Friday 2 December 2011 12:43

Mrs claus has just read this FML and is getting the divorce papers...

aus1095 4

Saturday 3 December 2011 17:19

Haha

bretty_boieeeeyy 0

Friday 2 December 2011 13:05

If your old enough to make him think sexual things about you then your to old to sit on his lap

platypus546 24

Friday 2 December 2011 13:10

Then you had a stroke?

aztecwarrior1983 1

Friday 2 December 2011 13:21

Nice! I what did you expect?

JaysFanStu 3

Friday 2 December 2011 13:28

Are you hot?

Keywords

Love Relatable Awkward YouTube Money Embarrassing Work Restaurants Cooking Cute Food Snow Kids Politics First Dates Health Autism Mental health Holidays Valentine's Day Facebook Social Media Scary Miscellaneous Transportation Gross School Education Alcohol Vegan

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Today, I was ecstatic to have received a friend request from my crush of grade 4 after 11 years. He's grown up to be such a hottie. I quickly accepted his request, he messaged me and we ended up chatting for hours. Later, when I messaged him, he called me clingy, and unfriended me from Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 719

You deserved it 2 049

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You deserved it 722

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 30 535

You deserved it 6 421

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I agree, your life sucks 27 297

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I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 279

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I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 88

Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 116

You deserved it 11 518

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 905

You deserved it 3 049

Same thing different taste

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