Love: Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee...

By 6u174r_d00d - 10/08/2011 21:10 - United States

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 051

You deserved it 6 129

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Deluxe Memory Man

By Anonymous - 28/07/2009 10:55 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 198

You deserved it 124 238

Smiley smile

By Eh.. - 05/12/2018 04:00 - Israel

Today, I learned that just because the cute barista at the train station smiles, waves at me each time I arrive, and develops small talk, probably means she's trying to sell me pastries. The smile she had when I asked for her number, and the way she said, "Nah" still haunts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 479

You deserved it 1 610

Nice try

By fyourlife - 21/10/2009 19:53 - United States

Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 895

You deserved it 37 215

Having multiple jobs may have its benefits

By Scoudrel - 26/02/2021 17:01

Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 6 349

By theuglyfriend - 17/07/2012 06:09 - United States - Riverbank

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 725

You deserved it 3 721

Awww, my feefees

By Erick - 11/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 273

By joybirdnot_13 - 08/07/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 mins. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 300

You deserved it 47 128

By Anonymous - 06/07/2013 11:26 - United States

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 730

You deserved it 6 802

By anthony - 25/11/2015 12:32 - Luxembourg

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 240

You deserved it 1 886

By Anonymous - 28/11/2009 22:23 - United States

Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 125

You deserved it 49 644

RatRodInk 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 8:53

Everyone knows you gotta pop your collar if your a pimp

Inspired22 11

Thursday 11 August 2011 8:55

Don't give up. The worthwhile girls don't go for the popped-collar type anyway.

Comments

gaffag 2

Friday 12 August 2011 0:26

Maybe you're just really ugly

TheDorianMode 8

Friday 12 August 2011 0:33

Trust me, you don't want to get into that business if that's the kind of guy she looks for.

Luke_1989_2007 0

Friday 12 August 2011 0:42

Grow a pair

snowbird123 3

Friday 12 August 2011 1:17

AND I JIZZED IN MY PANTS

LightUpThaJay 3

Friday 12 August 2011 1:25

You don't want a girl like that anyway, trust me. Plus, any guy with a popped collar is a ****.

Calyx_fml 21

Friday 12 August 2011 2:07

Hot chicks love douchebags. There's even a blog about it.

richardcard82 5

Friday 12 August 2011 2:13

I guess it's true that nice guys finish last. Too bad women in this society are so superficial.

LilaBear 1

Friday 12 August 2011 6:56

wow, bitter much?

corruptblackkat 17

Friday 12 August 2011 2:18

now you know why they say women are evil lol

BBYgirl_22 3

Friday 12 August 2011 2:54

obviously youre ugly as ****

hyden121 2

Friday 12 August 2011 3:26

Maybe next time don't be so polite or invest in a popped collar.

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The Top

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 833

You deserved it 225

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 2 517

The Top

Today, it's been so long since my fiancé and I have had sex I now apparently have dreams about all-night unprotected screwing marathons with George Bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 297

You deserved it 1 450

Today, my neighbors were busted for a meth lab in their garage. Yesterday, I signed the mortgage. Welcome to our new neighborhood, kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 092

You deserved it 3 977

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 187

You deserved it 5 723

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 478

You deserved it 4 126

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 151

You deserved it 41 744

Today, I'm a 22 year-old guy with a 11:00 pm curfew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 323

You deserved it 16 410