Miscellaneous: Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad...

By Sherressa - 02/12/2013 20:04 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 622

You deserved it 28 083

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 13/11/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 946

You deserved it 7 624

The cake was not a lie.

By Alex Knight - 07/11/2017 19:00

Today, I bought a cake. I then immediately forgot what I was carrying, opened the door to my car, and tossed the bag into the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 4 136

Smash

By Unintended Victim - 08/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 105

Didn't see ya there

By mbrooke - 23/03/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, a couple of friends and I were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car that had stopped to help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 185

You deserved it 102 525

By tukkies - 03/10/2010 09:23 - South Africa

Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 146

You deserved it 4 257

By HappyBirthday - 28/05/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, it was my friend's birthday. She's been having problems with most of her friends besides me lately, so I wanted to do something special. I brought her a cake. Me and her were the only ones to have any. It gave us both food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 375

You deserved it 4 768

Friends like these

By veggocake - 26/09/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 806

You deserved it 63 447

By MJensen - 10/05/2016 21:57 - Denmark - Herlev

Today, I wanted to be nice to my boyfriend and buy him a cake. Not only did I drop it in the bus, when I got home I forgot that I'd put it on my bed, and sat on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 994

You deserved it 4 273

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 302

You deserved it 8 531

Smashed

By Mr. Headshot - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should've told me she put a stick in it to support the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 187

You deserved it 3 643

emilycb93 12

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:29

Yum! Butberry cake.

silverhuntress 4

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:30

Awww! Poor lady!!! I just hope it wasn't her birthday...

Comments

emilycb93 12

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:29

Yum! Butberry cake.

RustlingSoul 26

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:38

I want to hear the woman's reaction to finding her cake with a butt Imprinted in it.

acoustics 18

Tuesday 3 December 2013 9:37

OP doesn't seem very observant. I wonder if there were other things before this that suffered the same fate as the cake.

Odis12 11

Tuesday 3 December 2013 13:19

Who transports a cake open? Hoping of course that it was under foil or plastic wrap.

gc327072 30

Tuesday 3 December 2013 17:03

"Butt?" "Bunt" "Bump?" "BUNT!" "…" "Ooohhhh it's a cake!"

nick3600 22

Wednesday 4 December 2013 20:46

Pooberry

silverhuntress 4

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:30

Awww! Poor lady!!! I just hope it wasn't her birthday...

awkwardloveannie 28

Tuesday 3 December 2013 8:46

op better hope it wasn't that womans birthday, candles up the butt isn't a pleasant feeling.

XSimpleDesignX 18

Tuesday 3 December 2013 9:11

#75 are you speaking from experience?

Epikouros 31

Tuesday 3 December 2013 9:29

LOL. At least the candles wouldn't be burning.

rachel_teee 9

Tuesday 3 December 2013 21:16

"Today, a random stranger opened my car door and sat on my birthday cake sitting beside me"

ElementaryEdGuy 18

Wednesday 4 December 2013 4:03

I would laugh so hard if it was my birthday and that happened...you know, after I realized I wasn't getting murdered.

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:31

Pancake!!!

143amandaott 10

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:33

That's hilarious!!:)

a4s 8

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:35

So I guess there was no moment on the lips, just straight to the hips...

sempiternal80816 9

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:35

I didn't know they stacked it that high

Kiki242 19

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:37

Not the cake! :(

crimsonlover4 31

Tuesday 3 December 2013 6:07

Don't worry #10, the cake is a lie!

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Tuesday 3 December 2013 9:12

#68: Dang, you beat me to it!

Ecudaniel 16

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:38

well idk about you but if there is something as big as a cake on the seat ill be able to see it... specially if its on a box

lightanddark 17

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:39

at least it'll make a decent reason to kiss someone's butt...to lick off the icing

LowExpectations 30

Tuesday 3 December 2013 1:15

......... No...... Just... No....

Tali147 16

Tuesday 3 December 2013 0:42

On the bright side, cake makes everything better!

SnuWolf 15

Monday 9 December 2013 12:06

Except the cake was just sat on. Don't think anyone will be eating that anytime soon.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 64

Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 182

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 2 648

You deserved it 256

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 483

You deserved it 3 727

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I agree, your life sucks 13 223

You deserved it 29 541

Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 861

You deserved it 37 789

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 660

You deserved it 13 257

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 230

You deserved it 5 853