Love: Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while...

By lamortdeshommes - 28/06/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 947

You deserved it 8 308

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Same thing different taste

By woahlaura - 14/02/2016 16:26 - United States - Houston

Today, I gave my boyfriend a $300 cooler for Valentine's Day. When I asked what he got me, he pointed at my stomach. I'm 3 months pregnant with his baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 758

You deserved it 3 387

Very helpful, dude

By anon - 14/06/2021 08:01

Today, I sent my husband out for baby formula and cocoa butter to soothe my boobs from breastfeeding. He came back with powdered milk and deep heat rub. AND he still wanted praise for at least having tried to get what I asked for. I would kill him, but I need his wages while I'm on maternity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 222

Great, I guess

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 07:24 - Canada - Milton

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 460

You deserved it 8 002

By Screwed - 07/08/2009 23:35 - Canada

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 208

You deserved it 4 344

By hungry - 15/08/2016 03:03 - United States - Waverly

Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 020

You deserved it 2 217

Off script

By Going hungry - 28/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 170

Parenting gone feral

By hungry - 22/10/2019 04:00 - Canada - Halifax

Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 298

By Alisha Marie - 04/08/2010 04:20 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 898

You deserved it 9 041

By depressedpreggo - 18/11/2012 11:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 994

You deserved it 2 385

By Anonymous - 09/01/2012 02:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 103

You deserved it 3 952

krysxkatastrophe 14

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:05

Ice cream is awesome! I'm lactose intolerant too, but I don't care when it comes to that!

knights95 9

Wednesday 29 June 2011 0:09

But they have cheese in them. Fail.

Comments

th3jok10 5

Saturday 8 October 2016 7:01

lack toes in toler ance.

Helmut Arias Rodriguez 21

Sunday 5 August 2018 5:37

Those are for him

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to work 8:30 am. Human stayed home. Got home at 5pm. Human is working on his music at home. It is 7:11 pm and Human is still on his computer working on the same song, on replay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 336

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 84 246

The Top

Today, I received the "employee of the month" title from the job I was fired from last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 026

You deserved it 1 831

Today, a customer came to my shop and asked our shop assistant if we had Smart TVs. She replied, "No we only have LG and Samsung." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 079

You deserved it 425

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 355

You deserved it 3 529

Today, after a two week holiday, I'm returning to work exhausted. I had nightmares about work every single night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 696

You deserved it 3 807

Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 829

You deserved it 38 837

Today, I had a feminine emergency. After scrounging up 4 quarters to use the machine in the women's bathroom, it dispensed a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 352

You deserved it 759