Sex, Porn and Geek: Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on... - FML

By ohshittttttt - 04/04/2009 16:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 502

You deserved it 158 549

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/04/2009 20:21 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 632

You deserved it 77 891

By cardsftw - 16/08/2012 19:50 - United States - Compton

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 162

You deserved it 8 414

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 213

You deserved it 39 612

By RollieCollieUSA - 30/01/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 733

You deserved it 6 668

Now casting

By WhyAppleWhy - 01/09/2012 23:14 - United States - Sarasota

Spicy

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 567

You deserved it 52 861

TMI FML

By Addison - 25/06/2012 00:28 - Canada - Kingston

Spicy

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 977

You deserved it 3 644

By acnecream - 03/05/2013 13:23 - Finland - Kinnulanlahti

Spicy

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 308

You deserved it 73 834

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 18:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 540

You deserved it 3 422

By sadinthesack - 31/08/2009 18:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 897

You deserved it 10 944

By tbeemcgeebee - 01/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 925

You deserved it 33 661

Next

Top comments

alicemassie 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:38

gee, i think thats number one on itunes!

Shigogaboo 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:37

Wow...wow

Comments

foolsangel 4

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:48

Well, I'm sure at least you made your friends laugh.

blacklagoon_fml 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:49

gah grammar issues, YDI

cyberhoy 3

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:50

yumm ok how could not know that would happen what are you even doing on AIM while you're jerking off?

Killuhk 8

Tuesday 5 June 2012 8:35

Talking dirty to some sleazy bitches duuuh lol what else

lycania 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:50

haha, YDI, dumb ass!

foltaggio 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:51

I moderated this one! :D

duckpsy 2

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:53

I'm sure your friends had no idea why it was in your buddy info I never knew you could set it to show your current itunes song/vid

mf_fml 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:53

hahahaha, oh lord.

drpepper000 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:54

Who keeps **** in their iTunes??

dammn 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:56

HAHAHHAHAHAHA i have the same question as # 18...

alex_vik 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:59

Good job. Who puts **** on their iPod?

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Miscellaneous Relatable Work You're fired Cars Kids Parenting Cats DIY Family Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Anxiety

The Top

Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 511

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 389

The Top

Today, I was at my usual drum circle. This guy I'd never seen before showed up and started playing an unfamiliar beat. Thinking he was new, I tried to teach him what to play. Turns out he was a professional drummer and was playing an advanced version of the groove I was trying to teach him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 2 144

Today, my daughter confessed that she’s pregnant from a one-night stand with some guy she met on vacation in Florida a few months ago. The dirtbag never told her his last name and the phone number he gave her was fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 158

You deserved it 3 327

Today, I sent my friend a Snapchat without any makeup on. She asked what filter I used, because it made my face look all red and blotchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 192

You deserved it 2 792

Today, I had to pick my son up from jail. He was pulled over for having a busted tail light, gave the officer his licence, realized he gave the officer his fake ID and then the dumbass gave the cop his real one. Is it too late for a vasectomy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 491

Today, the janitor and I both had to tell a tenant that his upstairs neighbor cannot push gas into his air vent to constipate him, as that's not how gas, the human body, or our ventilation system, work. We told him repeatedly that he needed to see a doctor. About his constipation. He still wasn't sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 92

Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 867

You deserved it 44 893