Money: Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more...

By ihncredible - 10/12/2012 23:32 - United States - Macomb

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 187

You deserved it 8 078

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ms piggy - 15/12/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 024

You deserved it 43 110

Simple answer

By pathetic - 29/05/2009 02:35 - Canada

Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 076

You deserved it 59 345

By unknown002 - 12/02/2010 01:25 - United States

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 227

You deserved it 18 676

By amused - 23/06/2014 21:26 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 562

You deserved it 8 741

By Mr. Shawzy - 15/01/2009 11:43 - Canada

Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 096

You deserved it 23 238

By trev - 30/05/2011 16:12 - United States

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 143

You deserved it 28 950

By Fatty - 28/12/2011 07:57 - United States

Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 539

You deserved it 4 884

Rock Bottom Riser

By Anonymous - 27/03/2020 08:19

Today I realized that my boyfriend has more money on his Metro card than I have in my entire bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 298

By fat - 12/07/2010 07:52 - United States

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 189

You deserved it 50 252

Own it

By annie - 26/05/2021 10:57

Today, when I stepped on the scale this morning, I broke it. Now my family won’t stop making fun of me and calling me names like "chubby" and "fatso". The scale was really old and I weigh 110 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 237

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 11 December 2012 0:58

But you live in the States! You don't keep pounds in the bank! The Brits do that. Or do you weigh 250 dollars?

LiterOfCola 16

Tuesday 11 December 2012 0:56

~Well I hope you are a fat shit OP!~

Comments

Spectre2121 8

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:35

Lol that is me everyday except payday

irene40000 4

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:37

I guess it's time to stop buying so much food!

Dillyduzit 23

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:38

*Buzz* "Yes, Dillyduzit?" "What is a college student?" "Thaaaat's right!"

mine747 12

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:46

Thats everyday for me honey!

kktik 8

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:48

Well.. I have only $6 in my bank now .. Does that necessarily mean I have to weigh 5 kg???LOL it's just ur body type OP

sweetmama88 6

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:54

That's very sad,

mazdamanpr5 3

Tuesday 11 December 2012 2:58

Glad I'm not the only one sinking in that ship, and I just got paid. Oh, Bills, I love you!

BVBARMY1238 9

Tuesday 11 December 2012 3:03

You only have 95$ in your bank account?!?!?!

mowmowlife 21

Tuesday 11 December 2012 3:05

Broke or fat, pick your poison... Or both for your technical nogoodoers, but then it wouldn't have come to mind

danial1214 21

Tuesday 11 December 2012 3:08

I hope you're like nr.krabs and put all your money under your matress. If you are not then good luck to you sir.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 485

You deserved it 38 931

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 80

The Top

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 743

You deserved it 2 458

Today, my husband told me he'd met a life guru online who, after paying the £29.99 consultancy fee, advised him to seize happiness at all times. So he decided to seize the 19 year-old redhead across the street, move in with her and get her pregnant. This is the happiest I’ve seen him in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 303

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 079

You deserved it 9 014

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to celebrate our 4-year anniversary with a shadow box I had made for her of our memories over the years. I left her house single, with a small bag of "breakup candy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 347

You deserved it 1 735

Today, my dad has dementia and has been getting my name wrong with increasing frequency. During one of his lucid moments, he ended up admitting those wrong names are actually of his other 7 kids, my half siblings to various women, 5 in this country and 2 in Europe, but I’m not to tell my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 95

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 878

You deserved it 17 014

Same thing different taste

Simple answer

Rock Bottom Riser

Own it

Top comments

Comments