Intimacy: Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me... - FML

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 639

You deserved it 15 440

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Same thing different taste

Bed move

By wellokthen - 26/11/2019 18:00 - United States - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend, the girl in it wasn't me, but they were in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 172

You deserved it 286

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 184

You deserved it 12 021

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 440

You deserved it 8 903

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 872

By thismakesmesad - 07/09/2011 16:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 438

You deserved it 7 587

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Spicy

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 783

You deserved it 4 770

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 185

You deserved it 4 857

By thoughtitwasspecial - 18/05/2011 05:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 551

You deserved it 20 765

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 508

You deserved it 36 992

Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 101

You deserved it 5 731

Next

Top comments

iLIAMMM 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:04

I hope you made him a sandwich.

ihatewankers 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:18

Next time he tells you he's horny, send him a link to "2 girls 1 cup", then tell him to make his own ******* sandwich.

Comments

Heaven666 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:50

D= what with males and sandwiches, my ex the same obsessed with sandwiches >.> makes themselves they aren’t useless

imajinethat 0

Monday 27 July 2009 14:03

Because a woman's job is in the kitchen, and it's better than asking for a pot roast... dur.

uj_fml 4

Monday 27 July 2009 13:10

LOL he has a great sense of humor omgggg loool

Simbo_fml 0

Monday 27 July 2009 13:10

Hahaha! You're boyfriend rocks.

lolfailure 0

Monday 27 July 2009 13:17

YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A GENIUS!!!!

AntiChrist7 0

Monday 27 July 2009 13:26

if the clip featured a hot woman getting it, you would be jealous. I'm sure you can outwin a sandwich

Mozart24 0

Monday 27 July 2009 13:30

This is funny - Virtually NO negative comments about the dude - everyone is calling him a Legend, hahaha... Have to admit, that IS pretty funny!

sireen 0

Monday 27 July 2009 13:30

hHahha this made my day.

Sipos 0

Monday 27 July 2009 13:34

While that is hilarious, I assume it is going to come back and bite him. I'm guessing that you'll be asking for a sandwich next time he's feeling horny (much the better if you lead him on first). If not then, well, you probably deserve it.

the_commentator 0

Monday 27 July 2009 17:56

LMAO! I totally just pictured that in my mind. "What do you want me to do, baby?" "I want... for you to make me a sandwich. No mayo, 'kay hun?" And then she should go watch football.

jivealive_5 0

Monday 27 July 2009 13:43

Lmao this is fantastic, totally made me laugh... I love it, your boyfriend is a champion!

Quiopa 0

Monday 27 July 2009 13:45

Hahaha not really a FML is it? He does sound like a fatboy but at least he's got good humor. Make him a sandwich for him to eat on your naked body, creative double win!

Quiopa 0

Monday 27 July 2009 14:09

LOL! Why does it have to be covering her whole body? It was supposed to be romantic ... (no pun intended) :)

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Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 86

Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 988

You deserved it 1 026

The Top

Today, my girlfriend dumped me while taking a walk through a park at night. After that, I had to escort her home as she has an eye condition, and is almost completely blind when dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 155

You deserved it 762

Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 883

You deserved it 2 115

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 104

You deserved it 4 719

Today, my grandfather sent everyone in my family an email thanking them for the photo we got him. I'd bought the frame, edited the picture, and delivered it to him. All everyone else did was show up and complain while the picture was being taken. I'm the only one who didn't get a thank you email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 039

You deserved it 2 328

Today, my mum came over and helped me sort out my spare room. It was great, we found so many things I'd forgotten I had! Including anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 1 011

Today, I confronted my neighbor because he'd been telling my kids that global warming was a myth. He responded with, "Whine all you want, but the swamp is draining and your bullshit liberal narrative is finally going down." He then dumped his trash on my lawn and retreated to his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 952

You deserved it 1 229