Intimacy: Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked...

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 809

You deserved it 8 832

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

WTF dude?

By lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 142

You deserved it 8 543

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 23:00 - United Kingdom - Kilkeel

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 813

You deserved it 9 037

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 180

You deserved it 5 619

By Kyra.45 - 03/10/2013 22:46 - United States - Troy

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 182

You deserved it 32 498

Pragmatic

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 14:05 - South Africa

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 966

You deserved it 4 955

By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 122

You deserved it 3 796

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 687

You deserved it 9 295

Get out of the way

By SweetDreamsTibi - 10/02/2019 12:00

Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 646

You deserved it 1 565

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 50 999

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 20:30 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 229

stretchedthin 20

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:15

haha sorry but that is funny and sad though, sorry op. Maybe you should do the same thing to him when he asks for some give him some lotion.

eternal_malaise 10

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:22

Tell him you're thinking about finding a new joystick since his doesn't seem to be working anymore.

Comments

1947Chevy 17

Sunday 16 February 2014 7:30

And so the gamer stereotype continues

kingvssj0 9

Sunday 16 February 2014 7:51

At least he loves you enough to pause a game and interact with you.

AnonymousBoyee 6

Sunday 16 February 2014 7:52

Well,you interrupted him playing a video game, your lucky your still married

jmfreee 16

Sunday 16 February 2014 8:16

Play the game with him for a while then let him know you still want him. He'll be even more appreciative of you and he might even give you a little extra effort when it happens.

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 16 February 2014 8:48

Despite what stereotypes would have you believe, men aren't in fact constantly horny. Much like women, there are times when a man is simply not in the mood to ****. Crazy, I know.

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 17 February 2014 20:59

It's not that; he could have politely said he wasn't in the mood instead of throwing a banana at her. And, OP, there are tons of online shops where you can get yourself a great variety of BOBs (battery-operated boyfriends). They'll do much a better job than fruit and veg.

SeenTheend 9

Sunday 16 February 2014 8:50

And this is why there's single girls.

Drian91800 7

Sunday 16 February 2014 9:07

What a blown chance

orsombre_fml 11

Sunday 16 February 2014 9:19

He is a douche. It is his right to say no, but the banana is quite rude and insulting.

phatdaddy62 23

Sunday 16 February 2014 9:21

What, so guys are supposed to be on demand **** automatons??? How many of you "ladies" have turned down your man when you're not in the mood? Oh yeah, all of you!

katties 27

Sunday 16 February 2014 9:50

I think you should try to remember: sometimes guys are busy and asking them at that point might not lead to anything good. One more thing: don't ask what HE wants to do about it (unless you know he would like to get some too) - tell him what YOU want to do to him. BUT I do think it really sucks that he responded in that way. He was probably thinking he was being funny and original...