Love: Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our...

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By pistonsunshine - 10/10/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 837

You deserved it 3 351

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 00:01

Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 132

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 079

You deserved it 4 128

By Jebus - 23/01/2009 13:31 - Canada

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 813

You deserved it 2 434

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 642

You deserved it 3 905

Karaoke Dinner Disaster

By Jonathan Park - 05/03/2020 09:06 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 178

By sandyhome - 11/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 784

You deserved it 6 277

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 196

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 212

You deserved it 6 594

By zed - 09/09/2012 17:21 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 934

You deserved it 3 112

By waterspike - 29/01/2010 13:18 - France

Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 803

You deserved it 9 983

RPGod 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 23:04

Well, at least you now know that she's a psycho bitch, and you don't have too continue to relationship.

KingOfTheWastes 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 23:10

I'm Marshall. Damn right you'll never be as good as me.

Comments

YummiGummi 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 18:43

Marshall beats on his girlfriend and hardly knows who his daughter is... and he raps

Red_Wing_Nut44 14

Friday 5 August 2011 23:06

Cool that chick knows Eminem.

fricgm 6

Saturday 29 October 2011 2:32

is her name, by any chance, lily?

lizmariah 1

Saturday 14 January 2012 1:25

Aww someone still gets an allowance

datguy5 13

Thursday 30 August 2012 3:48

Well Marshall was awesome...

spartanMKIV 9

Sunday 10 February 2013 7:53

was she a short redhead girl that taught kindergarten?

haleymthomas 5

Sunday 2 June 2013 15:11

was her name Lilly? :P

elizacandle 29

Friday 4 April 2014 10:43

I really hope she wasn't referring to HIMYM....

neuronerd 28

Monday 15 December 2014 15:18

So, was her name Katie, and do you live in Richmond?

daemonsparta 16

Monday 3 August 2015 2:01

well she's not with marshall is she?

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The Top

Today, I opened some junk mail addressed to my fiancé and saw a credit letter about applying for a new mortgage. When I called to tell him his identity was stolen, he admitted he bought a house, and then broke up with me. I had no clue he was unhappy. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 145

Today, my girlfriend is at work, leaving me with her needy son again. If I don't play with him, he cries and throws a fit. If I don't clean the house, she will cry and throw a fit when she gets home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 269

The Top

Today, as usual, my wife only wants to have sex to reproduce. As soon as she falls pregnant, the shop is closed. She doesn't care about my sexual needs, saying if I was really that horny, I should go sleep with some else. I'm not that guy and if I do get the guts to do so, I‘m afraid she will hold it against me, and take the kids and our savings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 185

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 351

You deserved it 3 036

Today, my parents searched my younger sister's phone because she had been acting suspiciously. I asked my mom if she was going to search mine too. She laughed and said, "Sweetie, your phone is probably even duller than mine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 835

You deserved it 2 867

Today, my close friend messaged me, asking if she could still move in. I don't remember the conversation we had saying that she could move in in the first place. I live in a one bedroom apartment. I have no idea what to say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 221

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 902

You deserved it 12 803

What would Mufasa think?!

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 64

Same thing different taste

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Wait, what?

Karaoke Dinner Disaster

Great date night

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