Health: Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my...

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 016

You deserved it 24 810

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By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 461

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 586

You deserved it 39 978

By Wannabees - 03/04/2012 05:13 - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 437

You deserved it 37 775

By Ellowise - 24/12/2009 10:06 - Belgium

Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 675

You deserved it 47 181

By missko519 - 22/05/2015 07:36 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 164

You deserved it 21 752

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 00:27 - Canada

Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 588

You deserved it 51 117

By tgstreaks - 23/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 902

You deserved it 91 019

By Crispy - 21/06/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 232

You deserved it 46 125

By blotchy-girl - 15/07/2009 04:00 - New Zealand

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 064

You deserved it 6 737

Roommates from hell, part 4874

By Ohgodithurts - 19/10/2020 11:00

Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 163

Xquisite1 28

Tuesday 10 January 2012 2:24

Mr.Krabs?

EffinToofer 3

Tuesday 10 January 2012 2:31

I think people who bad grammar is are face.

Comments

happymom2g 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 6:07

That shit is wrong on so many levels!

ForeverScarlett 3

Tuesday 10 January 2012 6:39

whats wrong with white legs? embrace them and next time invest in a professional tan

LZSchneider 4

Tuesday 10 January 2012 6:45

YDI. Stop trying to be browner and enjoy the skin that you are in.

legresley85 1

Tuesday 10 January 2012 6:51

The color Orange doesn't make you look tan, it just makes you look like a douche.

kphippie 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:53

Don't be a douch

yogamaster9000 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 7:00

It's winter. Therefore, wear pants. No one sees! YDI

lyle125 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 7:02

The Sun. Burning Gingers so we dont have too

HollowSanctuary 7

Tuesday 10 January 2012 7:05

Rock lobster!

kmef07 4

Tuesday 10 January 2012 7:16

Went to school with a girl who was so scared of the spray tanner that she pissed during the spray and ended up with pee stains in the form of white marks down her legs, so it could have been worse for you.

chengy4191 7

Tuesday 10 January 2012 7:20

Tanning is for ugly people some of the most beautiful people are pale and the most ugly are tan

maycee123 4

Tuesday 10 January 2012 7:28

ghost white legs make you different, make you beautiful, and make you stand out. embrace them and be proud of yourself...just be glad its not shorts season yet lol