Health: Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my...

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By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 020

You deserved it 24 815

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By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 462

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 587

You deserved it 39 989

Sunscreen season is open

By Anna - 26/03/2025 00:00 - Mexico - Tijuana

Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 540

By Wannabees - 03/04/2012 05:13 - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 437

You deserved it 37 779

By Ellowise - 24/12/2009 10:06 - Belgium

Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 676

You deserved it 47 189

By missko519 - 22/05/2015 07:36 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 169

You deserved it 21 764

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 00:27 - Canada

Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 593

You deserved it 51 125

Jumpy

By tgstreaks - 23/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 912

You deserved it 91 043

By Crispy - 21/06/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 234

You deserved it 46 139

By blotchy-girl - 15/07/2009 04:00 - New Zealand

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 074

You deserved it 6 740

Xquisite1 28

Tuesday 10 January 2012 2:24

Mr.Krabs?

EffinToofer 3

Tuesday 10 January 2012 2:31

I think people who bad grammar is are face.

Comments

bri5083 9

Tuesday 10 January 2012 7:30

Damn, allergies are a bitch.

smooches722 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:18

Self tanners never work

badam_fml 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:36

Why did you do it to your self?

Squeaky_Tomato 14

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:54

I used to hate my ghost white legs (and whole body) as well. I've come to love it though. It's one of the major reasons I am a model

summerbreeze888 10

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:02

Have fun explaining that one ;D

123josie123 11

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:12

Ydi for trying to conform to society's view of beauty. I bet you were fine the way you were.

xgetxbentx 13

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:14

This is why you're supposed to test it in your foot.

SheepShoop_fml 20

Tuesday 10 January 2012 10:29

Nothing beats some natural sunlight to give you some color. Just wear a little sunscreen! As someone who burns easily I don't get the appeal in tanning beds. No, I do not want to pay someone to burn me.

ihatecancer 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 10:34

A picture should be on with this. Jersey shore is overrated losers grow up!

OfficeNinja 5

Tuesday 10 January 2012 14:41

Things I learned from reading FML. 1. Self tanning lotions never work. You either end up looking like an oompa-loompa (if you are short), a spiky haired douchebag (of your not short), or Dr. Zoidberg.