Intimacy: Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's...

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 08:29 - United States - Inglewood

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 917

You deserved it 44 405

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Same thing different taste

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 785

You deserved it 7 879

By dinosaur - 10/01/2011 10:35 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 221

You deserved it 3 210

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 13 693

By staciedee - 01/06/2010 09:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 173

You deserved it 4 955

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 8 654

By caligirl921 - 11/12/2010 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 092

You deserved it 21 132

Kinky

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 12:00 - United States - Fpo

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 276

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 607

You deserved it 2 704

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 165

You deserved it 4 026

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 16:46 - United Kingdom - Loughton

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 823

You deserved it 3 844

poccocurantes 7

Sunday 30 December 2012 19:06

Banging your boyfriend till he walks funny. Somehow I don't think that's what he had in mind.

Bliss391 7

Sunday 30 December 2012 19:08

I'm sorry, but I just don't understand how sitting on his belly would be cute. It really just sounds uncomfortable.

Comments

padlarf 14

Sunday 30 December 2012 19:35

And then he waddled away... waddle waddle ... 'til the very next day

panicsdisaster 17

Sunday 30 December 2012 19:39

For every reaction there is a reaction.especially when crushed gonads are involved.

geekpower_fml 28

Monday 31 December 2012 4:24

For every *action there is a reaction, you mean? Physics. (:

panicsdisaster 17

Monday 31 December 2012 7:38

My comments don't come from the purest state of mind. You get my point i hope

80skid 15

Sunday 30 December 2012 19:40

How cute!

MeLikeBigBoom 8

Sunday 30 December 2012 19:44

You know, consider yourself lucky. Only leaving with a black eye...

SethCohenheimer 6

Sunday 30 December 2012 19:49

Lol the world will be a better place once women understand that the gonads are our danger zone

GingerPanda94 6

Sunday 30 December 2012 19:52

Yeah... We already know that? Why do you think that when we are really pissed off that is (sometimes) our target zone.

lilhellian 26

Sunday 30 December 2012 20:02

It certainly was Lorena Bobbits target..

LarryLaDouche 13

Sunday 30 December 2012 23:15

I thought she just took the shaft and not the nads.

konstantinos616 17

Sunday 30 December 2012 19:54

Same thing happened to me on Christmas. We were watching Stepbrothers and her knee landed square on my left nut. Don't worry about it too much, as long as you guys are comfortable with each other, you'll both be fine and have a jolly ol' laugh about it later.

Enslaved 36

Sunday 30 December 2012 20:21

Was that because your left nut hangs lower? ***How funny! We both have the same song lyric written on our profile. (:

konstantinos616 17

Sunday 30 December 2012 21:14

Actually yea, by like 5/8". I'm guessing you're a rocker girl?

Eiregal2 10

Monday 31 December 2012 0:26

Within temptation?

konstantinos616 17

Monday 31 December 2012 0:47

You know it :D

MrMizzouBound 7

Sunday 30 December 2012 19:57

Hey, now you know that you have a shot, just don't let it slip away! ;-)

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Sunday 30 December 2012 20:06

At least you're in pain together. =)

lolita88_fml 27

Sunday 30 December 2012 20:07

Oh look! I'm gonna be CUTE and sit on his belly! I'll suck his hamster-piss covered fingers at the same time and be SUPER cute! Hell, I'll even bump into him in the wave pool and he'll just DIE from my cuteness! Seriously. This shit isn't ******* cute. Grow up.