By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 04:10 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy
Today, I tried to hold my new boyfriend's hand while on a date. He let go quickly though, letting me know that we aren't at "that stage" of the relationship yet. We've been having sex for two weeks now. FML
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Top comments

teentee401 36

Hate to be THAT person on FML, but I would seriously consider leaving that relationship. If he's ******* you but can't be bothered to hold your hand in public, that's a bit of a red flag. Then again you could always talk to him, but this just seems a bit suspect to me. EDIT: And to the comments before me, using sex as a weapon is immature.

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Comments

GrumpyGrinch 23

I would love to say: "when we were young the first stage was holding hands and only then came the sex phase". Unfortunately my ex-husband was the same kind of immature - we got married, had sex, 2 kids, still no holding hands, just one more red flag for insecure and immature man you don't want to tie your life with.

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kalbrek009 20

Holding hands comes long before sex, OP. If you were in a serious relationship holding hands would have been the thing to do months before you slept together, otherwise...you're nothing but a toy to him (who may have other girls on the side or wishing he did, which is most likely why he won't hold your hand in public)...the only other reason I can see him saying that, is because he maybe doesn't know how it all works...idk. If he thinks sex comes before hand holding, you need to be done with him & find someone who knows (& respects you) & follows the steps in the correct order.

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jude_iscariot 7

For you, maybe. For others, it doesn't. There is no one right answer here. I've had sex with many women I would not hold hands with. Holding hands, to me, is a sign of love or at least greater affection than it might take to have sex with somebody.

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KrDizzy 16

Personally, that would turn me off to the point where I wouldn't want to have sex with him. If you're having this problem already, might as well break it off and move on. Save yourself the time and hurt feelings.

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destroy577 11

Dang, well you could always just talk to him. Best of luck ??

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pfisher4 10

Wait something isn't adding up, he's your NEW boyfriend and you guys having been having sex for two weeks now? Something dosen't add up

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PANDORUM89 21

Honestly this whole thing comes down to OP and her bf not properly communicating with each other. If she has doubts about where they are then she has every right to say "Until we both know where we are in the relationship, I'd prefer to not be intimate on that level anymore." That way if all he wanted was a casual hookup at his disposal then he will leave. If he wants a relationship then he will stay and talk it out. maybe showing PDA even in subtle forms is uncomfortable for him and he thinks that is more personal as he is sharing his emotional status with the world.

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Jets4Life89 4

Maybe you shouldn't **** a dude you just met?! Ever occur to you???

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leogachi 15

@95 How do you know they just met? It just says they've been having sex for two weeks, not that they've only known each other for two weeks. Maybe they've known each other for ten years.

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saffy66 34

This is what's bad about not taking things slow to begin with. All that early romantic stuff is SUPPOSED to come first. Then you both know just where you're at. I'm sorry OP, you must feel lousy right now.

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