Health: Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butthole with Neosporin....

By 11niko - 02/02/2012 04:57 - United States

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butthole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 080

You deserved it 7 022

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Check this out!

By What an ass - 23/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, while using my phone camera as a mirror, I managed to broadcast a Facebook Live video of myself applying haemorrhoid cream to my asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 1 257

Get a look at this

By Buttscratcher - 03/03/2012 16:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 922

You deserved it 31 876

By Anonymous - 11/05/2019 02:00

Today, I noticed a spot on my leg that I wanted a closer look at. I went to put my phone screen towards it for more lighting while my sister was in front of me, looking. I'm pretty sure she saw my nude that I forgot was on the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 2 382

By Anonymous - 02/03/2016 05:06 - United States - Miami

Today, at work, man who was buying medicine for his son came up to me for help. He didn't know how to explain it to me, so instead he showed me a picture of a rash on his kid's butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 777

You deserved it 1 686

TMI FML

By Anonymous - 10/06/2021 06:01

Today, I had to take a photo of my asshole after I sat on a rusty nail, causing considerable pain. Thankfully, no major damage was done. Unfortunately, the photo synced up to my mum's iPad, since it's linked to my Apple ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 388

By jack - 27/08/2015 10:56 - United Kingdom - London

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 171

You deserved it 2 426

By RIP iPhone - 26/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I was using my flashlight app in the driveway to avoid stepping in puddles, as my new shoes are untreated suede. I dropped my phone in the puddle instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 556

You deserved it 2 045

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 626

You deserved it 3 726

By msarosi - 28/04/2013 10:28 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 168

You deserved it 16 824

Nice.

By poururheartout - 27/07/2018 20:30

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 280

You deserved it 398

LexSwift 17

Thursday 2 February 2012 8:40

What in the world are you sticking up there that it's cutting you?

JoshTheMaggot 8

Thursday 2 February 2012 8:40

How did you get a cut on your butt hole in the first place? Sharp objects aren't meant for the ass..

Comments

MMAlegendDAWT 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 23:20

You cannot physically cut a butt hole. It's a hole....empty space. You can cut the walls of the anus but not the hole itself, I'm just saying.

xela96 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 23:27

How...did this even happen...? What...?

thingamajiga 5

Thursday 2 February 2012 23:45

This sounds completely normal to me

jengers115 10

Thursday 2 February 2012 23:57

Woah...kinky

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 3 February 2012 0:04

Why do you have to be so anal...? Sphincter.

vonmatterhorn 3

Friday 3 February 2012 0:56

U might want to switch TP brands.. Or buy 3 or 4 ply XD

aquaeyedsiren 0

Friday 3 February 2012 1:09

you're doing it wrong

gareth22 0

Friday 3 February 2012 1:30

Guy or girl?

jayemdoubleyou 1

Friday 3 February 2012 1:36

How can miss your asshole? You literally don't know your ass from a hole in the ground.

samm779 0

Friday 3 February 2012 1:58

What the ****...

Keywords

Haircut Health Hair Miscellaneous Money Christmas Gifts Lonely Relatable Cars Parents Kids Drunk Family Awkward Love Ironic Technology Social Media Holidays Narcissistic parents Relationship advice Animals Dogs Annoying Poopoo peepee My ex Work Religion AITA

The Top

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 296

You deserved it 4 542

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 869

You deserved it 3 894

The Top

Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 148

You deserved it 2 559

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 019

You deserved it 3 971

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 665

You deserved it 5 726

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 746

You deserved it 4 440

Today, I went shopping for a nice outfit to wear for a job interview. A fake job interview. One that I just made up so my mother would get off my case about finding a job. I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I can't get a job, or that my mother actually believed me about the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 206

You deserved it 38 891

Today, I drove to return a PC that my former company lent me to work at home, because I quit that job so won't be working there anymore. On my way to the office, I was robbed of both my car and the computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 82