Health: Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butthole with Neosporin....

By 11niko - 02/02/2012 04:57 - United States

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butthole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 080

You deserved it 7 022

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Check this out!

By What an ass - 23/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, while using my phone camera as a mirror, I managed to broadcast a Facebook Live video of myself applying haemorrhoid cream to my asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 1 257

Get a look at this

By Buttscratcher - 03/03/2012 16:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 922

You deserved it 31 876

By Anonymous - 11/05/2019 02:00

Today, I noticed a spot on my leg that I wanted a closer look at. I went to put my phone screen towards it for more lighting while my sister was in front of me, looking. I'm pretty sure she saw my nude that I forgot was on the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 2 382

By Anonymous - 02/03/2016 05:06 - United States - Miami

Today, at work, man who was buying medicine for his son came up to me for help. He didn't know how to explain it to me, so instead he showed me a picture of a rash on his kid's butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 777

You deserved it 1 686

TMI FML

By Anonymous - 10/06/2021 06:01

Today, I had to take a photo of my asshole after I sat on a rusty nail, causing considerable pain. Thankfully, no major damage was done. Unfortunately, the photo synced up to my mum's iPad, since it's linked to my Apple ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 388

By jack - 27/08/2015 10:56 - United Kingdom - London

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 171

You deserved it 2 426

By RIP iPhone - 26/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I was using my flashlight app in the driveway to avoid stepping in puddles, as my new shoes are untreated suede. I dropped my phone in the puddle instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 556

You deserved it 2 045

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 626

You deserved it 3 726

By msarosi - 28/04/2013 10:28 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 168

You deserved it 16 824

Nice.

By poururheartout - 27/07/2018 20:30

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 280

You deserved it 398

LexSwift 17

Thursday 2 February 2012 8:40

What in the world are you sticking up there that it's cutting you?

JoshTheMaggot 8

Thursday 2 February 2012 8:40

How did you get a cut on your butt hole in the first place? Sharp objects aren't meant for the ass..

Comments

tebowingallday 0

Friday 3 February 2012 2:08

Haha xD howd u cut your butt

xandra12791 8

Friday 3 February 2012 2:58

Is there a prequel to this FML that says how you sustained your injury? XD

RemedyMarks 1

Friday 3 February 2012 3:33

How the **** did u get a cut on ur butthole?

JayJavaMonsterr 10

Friday 3 February 2012 3:35

U cut ur butt? O.o What the hell...

red1355 6

Friday 3 February 2012 3:36

You should have just put a glob of neo on your finger and stuck it in your ass! You would have gotten it.... Lol

PaperCandles 0

Friday 3 February 2012 3:56

This belongs in the "first world problems" section of memes.

tehdarkness 21

Friday 3 February 2012 4:24

U shoulda just spread it around the area. Can't hurt!

duncanbaseball 0

Friday 3 February 2012 4:29

Day ass

cmclowry17 0

Friday 3 February 2012 4:29

The FML should of been about the cut on your ass haha

bamberbear 0

Friday 3 February 2012 4:34

Lol you must have some ghetto toilet paper!

Keywords

Haircut Health Hair Miscellaneous Money Christmas Gifts Lonely Relatable Cars Parents Kids Drunk Family Awkward Love Ironic Technology Social Media Holidays Narcissistic parents Relationship advice Animals Dogs Annoying Poopoo peepee My ex Work Religion AITA

The Top

Today, after 10+ years of being best friends, I finally told my best friend "I love you" while we were on the phone. To which she said, "That's OK, but…" and continued the conversation. Maybe I shouldn't have drank so much, or waited so long. We're both in happy marriages, with kids with other people now though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 925

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 201

You deserved it 47 646

The Top

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 270

You deserved it 3 070

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 933

You deserved it 8 271

Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 590

You deserved it 3 146

Today, I was in English class when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said, "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I had to walk across the school with a plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 481

You deserved it 5 251

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 203

You deserved it 4 359

Today, while picking up one of my older kids from school, I started talking to another parent. He commented that it had been quite a year in the kindergarten, because every day his kids come home telling stories about two girls, Hannah and Pi, and all the things they did that day. Hannah is my daughter, Pi is her nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 210