Intimacy: Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite...

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By anon - 31/07/2010 17:04 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 239

You deserved it 6 993

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By confusedcatlover - 06/04/2013 11:42 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 283

You deserved it 6 223

By jsmills92 - 21/12/2012 00:26 - United States - Cranston

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 430

You deserved it 4 454

By iliku - 01/06/2019 02:00

Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 236

By vishuzzbabe77 - 22/08/2011 06:04 - United States

Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 446

You deserved it 41 667

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 03:52 - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 947

You deserved it 2 923

I did not consent to this under my roof

By CatBlock - 31/01/2014 06:16 - United States - Decatur

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 366

You deserved it 8 017

By soph511 - 30/07/2012 18:05 - France - Hyères

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 570

You deserved it 4 692

By tornkhakis - 24/02/2014 07:20 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 200

You deserved it 4 177

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 5 275

I'm gonna be late

By mav3rick91 - 01/03/2010 08:30 - United States

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 137

You deserved it 3 311

pickle_jr 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 0:33

the shirt just wants some pussy!

thatonedame 6

Sunday 1 August 2010 0:33

that'll happen.

Comments

jdfml90 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 4:12

are fml's just getting shitter!

chocolatedrop 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 4:12

i first read mate as roommate

HerroImYerro 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 4:28

u deserve it for wearing sweaters

polopony 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 5:22

an angry pit bull humped my leg once. I had to fake an ****** so he'd stop

kariabernathy 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 5:41

it's funny because......ITS NOT FUNNY TO SAY THAT!!! IT MAKES PEOPLE WANT TO JUNK PUNCH YOU!

sting0517 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 6:19

lolx meow meow

airforce987 20

Sunday 1 August 2010 6:27

shoulda filmed it, put it on YouTube and became famous. those cat vids gets views like nothing else!

tsan_fml 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 6:54

was your cat smart about it and using protection?

Lol_that_suks 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 7:01

did u try to join

awsomechick212 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 7:49

well at least let them finish! lol

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Awkward Hospital Pregnancy Animals Dogs Death Sadness Love Intimacy Sex AITA Cute Technology Cats Miscellaneous Birthday Parents Relatable Anxiety Mental health Family Religion Shopping Weird Transportation Annoying Money Food Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 742

You deserved it 3 895

Today, for the first time in 8 months, I got laid and it was amazing. Unfortunately, it's kicked my latent sex drive into hyperdrive. Best part? No idea when I might have sex again, so apparently I just have to live with being ragingly horny for the foreseeable future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 540

You deserved it 406

The Top

Today, my wife was talking to our 9 month-old baby. “Your father really is an example.” I smiled, feeling proud, but then she added, “and not a really good one.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 78

Today, my idiot roommate finally realized that a girl who follows you everywhere like a puppy, always wants to talk to you, and "accidentally" sends nudes is into you. Unfortunately, she's since moved on from him. Now I get to listen to him whine about how unfair it all is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 141

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 722

You deserved it 3 436

Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 2 104

Today, I had a bit of good news with a letter that stated we were owed money by overpaying Council Tax. I phoned them, announcing myself. However, it turns out we actually owe THEM money, due to an error they made giving me and my husband a discount we weren't entitled to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 119

Today, after spending hundreds of dollars on parts and tools, and hours of research to teach myself how to perform the work, I upgraded my bike. It was also today that I made it 4 blocks from my house on my first ride before I hit a curb and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 173

Same thing different taste

I did not consent to this under my roof

I'm gonna be late

Top comments

Comments