Kids: Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam...

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 288

You deserved it 4 919

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 292

Snack time

By oops... - 12/09/2014 05:50 - Canada - Sylvan Lake

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 606

You deserved it 29 763

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 21:29 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 764

You deserved it 3 170

By Ldp56 - 25/02/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 013

You deserved it 4 610

By no she wasn't high - 02/12/2013 02:50 - United States - Garland

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 892

You deserved it 5 891

By ohhdear.___. - 26/03/2012 14:54 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 483

You deserved it 5 474

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 23:54 - United Kingdom - Bathgate

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 177

You deserved it 3 772

By mom - 26/04/2018 15:00

Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 434

You deserved it 613

Hair-raising

By what the fuck????? - 17/02/2022 16:01 - United States - Denver

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 268

Cats are the same

By GrumpyMonk - 21/01/2022 04:58

Today, my son was playing with a piece of plastic wrapping and trying not to let it fall to the floor as if it were a balloon. This is after he got some kick ass gifts for Christmas. Kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 779

porcelainkisses 5

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:09

Congratulations, you've raised a dumbass!

GhettoXmuffin 7

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:10

I'd say eating cocks is more accurate

Comments

TraceCase_ 19

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:16

Sure she told you that. Sounds like a strange addiction, like that woman that eats couch cushion.

CaptainPickles72 18

Saturday 24 December 2011 3:00

That is strange! But I can top that....this one time I heard about these girls who eat carpet, then I heard about these others who munch on cardboard.... that's just plain weird!

FarSide 22

Saturday 24 December 2011 4:37

Carpetmunchers?

ashtonkay 7

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:15

Pica.. Google that shit.

boohbah1789 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 8:04

Or the chalk eater / laundry detergent drinker xD

Gringe 1

Saturday 24 December 2011 12:43

Pica is a mental disorder that gives people the irrisistable urge to eat things that are not edible. Usually its coins

EllyMo 15

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:16

I don't blame her... They're tasty!

cheerluv15 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:17

Your daughter has issues.

TeamDazu 5

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:51

No shit Sherlock.

tmd4L 7

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:18

At least she hasn't eaten anything poisonous...yet.

ninjacapo 2

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:25

Defend the rocks!

perdix 29

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:28

Binge drinking Compulsive overeating Random sex with strangers Crack addiction with a petty crime career to support her habit Need I go on? With morons, you can't predict what stupid, self-destructive shit they'll do.

BruisedGiraffe 15

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:32

So she very well could turn out to be an obese, alcoholic prostitute

perdix 29

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:44

The options on that list are neither exhaustive nor mutually exclusive. The idiot kid could take on any or all of those vices. Add to those: Identity theft Pyromania Glory-hole attendant

CaptainPickles72 18

Saturday 24 December 2011 3:05

Wow, I must be really screwed up then! I've done four of those things at one time.... 1. Glory-Hole attendant. 2. Random sex with strangers... though this and glory-hole kinda go hand-in-hand 3. Pyromania. I was lighting toilet paper on fire while using the almighty glory-hole! 4. I was also munching down on a cheese-burger.... or eight.