Intimacy: Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to...

By Lewis - 04/09/2010 11:02 - Australia

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 255

You deserved it 34 493

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 01:39 - United States

Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 360

You deserved it 3 265

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 406

By nudesurprise - 16/04/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 926

You deserved it 35 109

By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 936

You deserved it 3 094

Buzzing the tower

By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 164

You deserved it 283

My little buddy

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 114

You deserved it 6 511

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 353

You deserved it 6 228

By Hunterxx - 07/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 758

You deserved it 7 235

By Ropebunnbon - 15/08/2018 13:00

Today, after leaving for the city inspector to make sure everything was up to code, my husband and I remembered that we'd forgotten to take down the rope bondage setup and equipment in the closet. We came home to paperwork on the kitchen counter and the closet door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 596

You deserved it 1 307

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 15:00

Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 2 660

aairborne52 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 19:48

can you say awkward?

ryankon518 3

Saturday 4 September 2010 20:02

dress to impress, well in this case undress

Comments

kemolegend907 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 21:04

YDI for being a horny b*tch ... XD JK

kevinfenchak 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 21:12

he'll probably give you a better deal on that mortgage now, so not really an FML....

rejectreality101 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 21:16

sounds like the beginning of a poorly produced adult film

simons_fml 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 21:19

YDI cuz why the **** would u think ur hus wanted to have sex with u just cuz he calledbu tp the bed rm

boopityboppity 11

Sunday 5 September 2010 7:47

To be honest, I don't know why anyone would want to seem as though his or her IQ could be counted on two hands. But hey, 40, you go right ahead and make that appear true. And have a banana.

cole86 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 21:30

u totally deaerve it

jeZuss 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 21:32

YDI for wanting DA DICK!!!

perdix 29

Saturday 4 September 2010 21:39

When the mortgagor saw you, he likely devalued your house by tens of thousands of dollars until your husband assured him he'd get an exterminator to eliminate the infestation.