Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo...

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 793

You deserved it 6 164

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Same thing different taste

By brebre101 - 31/07/2011 09:05 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 179

You deserved it 4 921

By funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 761

You deserved it 5 738

By roomingwithevil - 09/05/2012 23:26 - United States - Slinger

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 760

You deserved it 2 069

By Woops - 27/08/2014 22:57 - United States - Secaucus

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 817

You deserved it 47 297

By piece of shed - 31/08/2011 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 248

You deserved it 3 504

By HousemateHorror - 20/11/2017 19:00

Today, I walked into my dorm to find the guy I have feelings for sleeping with my roommate. I signed a lease with them for next year and can't back out now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 263

You deserved it 578

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 367

You deserved it 5 212

College life

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 991

You deserved it 2 363

By powsser - 11/03/2009 13:38 - United States

Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 414

You deserved it 5 714

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 578

You deserved it 6 347

jhkmyun 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:07

Yikes, creepy much?

24788 6

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:09

That's some creepy shit.

Comments

holy_crap 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:50

that's scary. I would defintely let your RA in on this or some other authority figure to get this figured out

DizzyDemon0 9

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:56

Know how to counter-act voodoo? put pins in ur doll and light it on fire.

wtfreallyin86 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:58

I CALL BULLSHIT ON THIS FML!! WHO'S WITH ME?!?!

yesmy_love 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:05

something similar to this happened to someone i know. if i were you i would report it to the school and get a new roommate.

R34GTRSKYLINE 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:12

holy crap. So when he poked the doll in the back, did something happen to you?

frootloop25 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:15

THAT IS SOOOOO freaky!! Wow...

LAJK218 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:15

I'd get the hell away from that roommate. I don't care if this isn't true or not, it's pretty funny.. and creepy....

iamSTEVE 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:15

Hopefully you're not black.

Shanny_fml 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:19

crap tht is so freaky! RUN! as fast as you can and away from tht freak of a roomate!

greenman_fml 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:22

You should piss in her mattress and pillow case and when she questions it, say it's your own made up belief system.

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The Top

Today, as punishment for a prank, my girlfriend has banned all forms of sex, kissing, or touching for the foreseeable future. She’s also started stripping as soon as she gets home and walking around in just her thong, or sometimes even completely naked, just to make my suffering worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 2 518

Today, it's Thanksgiving and I've spent the last few days imploring my husband not to antagonize my Trump-loving family by talking about the fact that they didn't look into what tariffs were at the time, and now they might have to close their business. Wish me luck… FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 235

The Top

Today, my friend went to go pick up some weed from her dealer. That same day her parents were searching her room, so guess who posted it through my letterbox so their parents wouldn’t find it. Unfortunately, my very religious parents found it and now think I'm being directed by Satan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 212

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 787

You deserved it 73 582

Today, it's the beginning of Spring. Great. Time to surround the house with ant killer because the entire county is one big ant colony, and the city council won't do anything about it because it would require treating every square mile against ants. God forbid it rains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 156

Today, I went for a job interview. The woman interviewing me had such a thick accent that I had to keep asking her to repeat herself. She got so frustrated that she ended the interview super early. I don't think I got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 594

You deserved it 1 206

Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 779

You deserved it 5 657

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 308

You deserved it 3 762

Same thing different taste

College life

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