Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo...

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By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 801

You deserved it 6 166

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Same thing different taste

By brebre101 - 31/07/2011 09:05 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 187

You deserved it 4 922

By funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 768

You deserved it 5 739

By roomingwithevil - 09/05/2012 23:26 - United States - Slinger

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 767

You deserved it 2 069

By Woops - 27/08/2014 22:57 - United States - Secaucus

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 821

You deserved it 47 309

By piece of shed - 31/08/2011 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 256

You deserved it 3 508

By HousemateHorror - 20/11/2017 19:00

Today, I walked into my dorm to find the guy I have feelings for sleeping with my roommate. I signed a lease with them for next year and can't back out now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 266

You deserved it 581

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 374

You deserved it 5 214

College life

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 003

You deserved it 2 366

By powsser - 11/03/2009 13:38 - United States

Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 421

You deserved it 5 718

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 588

You deserved it 6 349

jhkmyun 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:07

Yikes, creepy much?

24788 6

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:09

That's some creepy shit.

Comments

ohhhhshizzz 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:25

#26: **** you. You really should do some research, I had to do a whole social studies project on this so that doesn't make me a 'freak' bitch.

Sure_Thing 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:29

"Today, my roommate walked in on me hanging a voodoo doll of them. Apparently the voodoo isn't working. Why won't the bitch die already? FML"

dominoeffect 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:30

fake....

saaaaaaam 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:32

HHAHAHAHAHHA

michellaneous 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:49

LOL shit; GTFO!!

aspire2nspire 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:56

I call shenanigans...

Daysgoby 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:57

#38 Just shut up and drop it okay? Yes we're all sorry you don't know your voodoo but don't go around stating incorrect facts, okay?

jenn03 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 18:22

WTF..

luckyyyme 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 18:25

Um, wow. What on earth did you do to piss your roommate off?

designedlikedice 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 18:27

Report it to the dean, and get a new roomie. It's that simple.

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Today, my crush, who’s notorious for only dating skinny girls, walked out of the break room. I turned to my friend and joked, “I may not be skinny, but I can suck a jawbreaker through a boba straw!” Turns out he came back because he forgot his phone. He most definitely heard me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 1 884

Today, I am fuming. We went to the beach in the sunny weather and my husband finally got round to posting the pictures on Facebook. In one of them I’m sunbathing and one of my fanny lips was hanging completely out the edge of my bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 190

The Top

Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked, "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 077

You deserved it 5 288

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "Sexual health products." Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 635

You deserved it 6 308

Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 972

You deserved it 4 015

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 213

You deserved it 46 936

Today, no matter how many times I've asked, my dumbass neighbor can't get into the habit of regularly picking up after her six dogs. Her backyard is covered in shit with probably just inches between each pile or log. This means the wind blows the smell of shit in the direction of my house. I can't open a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 76

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 974

You deserved it 77 183

Same thing different taste

College life

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