Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo...

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 799

You deserved it 6 165

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Same thing different taste

By brebre101 - 31/07/2011 09:05 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 184

You deserved it 4 921

By funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 765

You deserved it 5 739

By roomingwithevil - 09/05/2012 23:26 - United States - Slinger

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 764

You deserved it 2 069

By Woops - 27/08/2014 22:57 - United States - Secaucus

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 820

You deserved it 47 303

By piece of shed - 31/08/2011 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 253

You deserved it 3 508

By HousemateHorror - 20/11/2017 19:00

Today, I walked into my dorm to find the guy I have feelings for sleeping with my roommate. I signed a lease with them for next year and can't back out now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 266

You deserved it 581

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 370

You deserved it 5 212

College life

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 999

You deserved it 2 365

By powsser - 11/03/2009 13:38 - United States

Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 418

You deserved it 5 717

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 585

You deserved it 6 348

jhkmyun 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:07

Yikes, creepy much?

24788 6

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:09

That's some creepy shit.

Comments

ohhhhshizzz 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:25

#26: **** you. You really should do some research, I had to do a whole social studies project on this so that doesn't make me a 'freak' bitch.

Sure_Thing 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:29

"Today, my roommate walked in on me hanging a voodoo doll of them. Apparently the voodoo isn't working. Why won't the bitch die already? FML"

dominoeffect 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:30

fake....

saaaaaaam 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:32

HHAHAHAHAHHA

michellaneous 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:49

LOL shit; GTFO!!

aspire2nspire 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:56

I call shenanigans...

Daysgoby 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 17:57

#38 Just shut up and drop it okay? Yes we're all sorry you don't know your voodoo but don't go around stating incorrect facts, okay?

jenn03 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 18:22

WTF..

luckyyyme 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 18:25

Um, wow. What on earth did you do to piss your roommate off?

designedlikedice 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 18:27

Report it to the dean, and get a new roomie. It's that simple.

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Today, my long-distance boyfriend of 3 years uttered the heartbreaking words, “I met this girl here in my hometown and she’s really great and we fell in love with each other, I can’t do this anymore. We’re over.” I was planning on moving to his town after graduation this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 147

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 393

You deserved it 10 700

The Top

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning, only to find out that I had been brushing my teeth wrong for years. He told me you're supposed to let the toothpaste do its magic instead of rinsing it off. Is this true? FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 411

Today, my sister told my mother how she saw our neighbour's son at the movies with a girl and that they were kissing. My mother said that any girl willing to date someone so ugly must have self esteem issues and they laughed. I'm his girlfriend, my sister didn't recognize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 008

You deserved it 4 782

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 702

You deserved it 5 371

Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 169

Today, marks the two weeks since my paycheck should have arrived. During these two weeks, my battery has failed, tire has blown, and my phone and water bill have become past due. When I called the guy who's supposed to pay me, he said he has a note about it "somewhere on my desk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 832

You deserved it 2 310

Today, I got yelled at by a man for not opening my store 10-15 minutes before the scheduled opening time, which made his 84-year-old wife shit her pants waiting to get in. It didn't matter when I explained I had no way to know she needed to use the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 209

You deserved it 715

Same thing different taste

College life

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