Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's... - FML

By Cody - 07/03/2009 18:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 078

You deserved it 21 183

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Same thing different taste

Slasher

By Anonymous - 09/09/2013 17:44 - United States - Sylvania

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 943

You deserved it 5 941

By horrible daughter - 24/08/2013 10:23 - United States - Santee

Today, I was feeling guilty about an argument I had with my mother right before she left to go shopping. When she got back, I ran to give her a hug and tell her I loved her. Unfortunately, in the process, I knocked over and broke her new $200 vase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 033

You deserved it 8 434

Pincushion

By Anonymous - 28/04/2020 23:00

Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 2 049

Psycho

By deadgirl - 15/05/2021 01:59

Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 139

Jumpy

By TheSentinel05 - 27/10/2020 12:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 225

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 446

You deserved it 14 433

By Sadasian - 14/08/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 167

You deserved it 4 118

By Karl - 21/02/2011 11:43

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 750

You deserved it 5 970

Falling down

By Ouch - 26/06/2021 11:01 - Serbia

Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 31/05/2016 15:30 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 254

You deserved it 1 844

Next

Top comments

texmas 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:37

Well, that was an incredibly rude reply to breaking something that belonged to someone else.

Spinach 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:55

Yeah, your first reaction should have been "I'm sorry," not "shit happens."

Comments

juicyjen 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 0:35

your mom is cool

Smiley14_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 0:43

hahaha who cares!!! the majority of the people out there were accidents...i think i was i think its funny...

yeahreally 6

Sunday 8 March 2009 0:45

lol thats horrible

jarofarts 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 0:50

damn that's harsh. doesn't she mean conception?

PsychoX 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 0:50

Maybe it was the wrong time of month? Mothers can be TERRIFYING at the wrong time of the month. And seriously, apologize. "shit happens" isn't the greatest response in the world. maybe "oh, fck, sorry, woops. hope that's okay... shit happens around me sometimes... but at least I don't get constipated too much." but... yeah. Just laugh it off. Seriously, it's better if you laugh at people who say things like that. It's more productive than wrist-slitting.

jackaaa 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:09

She probably meant your conception.

ForestFire0 1

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:11

If you weren't so aloof, I would have sympathy for you. But since you're probably a clumsy oaf who has broken so much of your mother's shit you're tired of faking an apology, I just admire your mother's quick wit.

RandomHero 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:15

That's ****** up, haha

shamille 5

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:35

whoa, doesn't she mean your conception? i hope so... oh haha. #28 i just saw yours.

McLaughlane 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:35

I don't care if the OP was insensitive about the vase, that doesn't excuse their mom's remark. There are lines you don't cross as a parent and she definitely crossed it, what a bitch.

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Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

The Top

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 602

You deserved it 5 559

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 014

You deserved it 6 152

Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 898

You deserved it 5 603

Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 380

You deserved it 11 816

Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 965

You deserved it 10 100

Today, I told my boyfriend of five months that it's time he stopped fighting for custody with his baby mama, and to start focusing more on my kids, whom he said he would take responsibility for. He responded by telling me to pack my things, saying we should all leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 2 939