Intimacy: Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha"...

By sluttydancer - 10/06/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 257

You deserved it 61 937

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 04/05/2011 10:01 - Australia

Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 472

You deserved it 33 992

By youjustsuck - 25/07/2011 18:07 - United States

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 264

You deserved it 12 787

By danam - 05/07/2011 02:38 - Canada

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 232

You deserved it 4 327

By secret dancer - 16/08/2011 16:55 - Sweden

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 458

You deserved it 11 371

By kiwichick4life - 30/07/2013 16:42 - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 648

You deserved it 14 174

By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 296

You deserved it 5 777

By DusterOverBits - 23/09/2009 09:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 388

You deserved it 44 854

By crazygirl10 - 28/05/2010 20:37 - United States

Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 537

You deserved it 33 127

By best_friend - 25/07/2011 06:43 - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 575

You deserved it 9 974

By SCREWED - 15/07/2011 06:25 - United States

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 881

You deserved it 3 903

dmmd8686 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 19:57

Should have gone up to him and said "that'll cost you 20 for the show"

regalarius 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 19:54

Man, if I had a dollar for every minute I've been glad no one was watching me, I'd be a rich man. FYL. Also: in before "do him"

Comments

irrelevantxx 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:13

*****. Look before you dance. YDI.

magicoilyoctopi 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:14

#19 win. Hahaha.

MsMegaroo 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:15

Interesting...why didnt you notice him before you started your dance?

ISellHerbs 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:20

I like how you all assume he got a boner from her when the FML didn't state anywhere he was watching her...just cleaning a window. Guys get erections all day especially if they're circumcised.

coopcas 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:22

Giggity.

karma_89812 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:25

Awkward. But like all the guys are saying, erections can happen out of nowhere- it is, in a way, a form of exercise that happens automatically to keep the equipment in top shape. So to speak, haha.

haha_goodone 3

Wednesday 10 June 2009 20:28

So you're complaining that he had a boner after watching your slutty dance, but the first thing you did when you noticed him is look at his package? You're obviously proud of your accomplishment.