Health: Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I...

By person - 26/12/2010 17:59 - Jordan

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 923

You deserved it 28 341

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Same thing different taste

Mr. Burns

By Anonymous - 20/09/2020 17:00 - United States

Today, I put icy hot on my aching shoulders, like I have been for several days. They seemed extra tender today, and it wasn't until the burning started that I realized I had put icy hot directly on a very angry sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 522

Sliced

By Anonymous - 18/04/2023 18:00

Today, I was in a rush to get ready for work so I quickly shaved my legs. In my haste, I accidentally nicked myself in a very sensitive area and had to spend the day simmering in discomfort and checking my crotch every so often to make I wasn't bleeding through my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 265

By Dan - 20/10/2018 15:30

Today, I put some Gold Bond in between my legs to help reduce moisture. After I finished applying it, I discovered that the Gold Bond had Menthol in it. My crotch is on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 588

You deserved it 2 349

Pissed

By Matt - 13/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 530

Sick burn

By littl3storm - 01/06/2020 17:00

Today, while sitting an at home university exam, I started getting period cramps. I decided to use a heat patch to help. I left it on for the allotted time, but when I took it off, it peeled my skin off and burnt the surrounding skin. I'm now burnt AND still experiencing cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 220

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 676

You deserved it 27 504

Our insect overlords

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 10:58

Today, something flew up the back of my shorts while I was at work. I now have itchy hot welts the size of my palm coating the back and inside of both my upper thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 76

Nuts

By Painful - 05/10/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 924

You deserved it 40 001

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 15/08/2018 20:30

Today, I rested my face against my boyfriend's shoulder while we watched a movie. I didn’t realize he had put Icy Hot on the same shoulder right before I sat down. I cried in pain. He cried with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 771

You deserved it 447

f_alltheirlives 3

Sunday 26 December 2010 23:36

Dime sacks? Plums? You should trade those in for a pair of regular testicles

fakeaccountX 6

Monday 27 December 2010 2:20

Attention all FMyLife users. Testicles. That is all.

Comments

tank8848 3

Monday 27 December 2010 20:35

i just hope u can pay me back the time that i've spent on looking up "dime packs" and "plums" in Longman.

beatlesfreak 0

Monday 27 December 2010 21:23

LOL!

blake10w 0

Monday 27 December 2010 20:57

lol plums

adidaman 3

Monday 27 December 2010 23:42

ydi for being from a place noones heard of

adidaman 3

Monday 27 December 2010 23:45

ydi for being from a place noones heard of

snafu63 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 0:53

Just say balls retard

MYCATSEGA 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 1:36

dime sacks? plums? what the heck cant you say balls like normal people?

notsofriendly 17

Tuesday 28 December 2010 1:55

HAHA "plums"

SettoFail 9

Tuesday 28 December 2010 2:00

HAHA plums??? lmfao

ImmaZebra 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 9:37

I would feel bad for you if you used normal words, mr. dimebag.

Kaaotic1 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 11:42

YDI for not having the testicles to say testicles.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 277

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 932

You deserved it 266

The Top

Today, I went to my university bookstore and tried to use my debit card to pay, but got the "Insufficient Funds" notification. I was buying a single postage stamp, which costs 57 cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 204

You deserved it 9 651

Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 489

You deserved it 13 293

Today, I spent ages prepping, chopping, bagging and freezing lots of fruits and veggies for my mom. I also bought her a juicer and alkaline water to help combat some of her health issues. I walked into the kitchen to see her mixing her juice with vodka and rum instead of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 276

Today, I'm on holiday, but my alarm clock isn't. It rang at 6 o'clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 355

You deserved it 47 076

Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 5 973

Today, my husband presented me with a DNA test proving that our newborn daughter isn't his. Confused, I got her tested again. She's not a match to me either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 112