Love: Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt...

By Joe - 10/03/2009 00:26 - Canada

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 265

You deserved it 56 146

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Same thing different taste

By michellemoyah - 25/02/2012 05:04 - United States

Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 366

You deserved it 6 907

By Anonymous - 08/01/2014 00:39 - United States - Salem

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 419

You deserved it 60 995

Rave on

By poorclubgoer - 14/11/2009 10:11 - United States

Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 701

You deserved it 5 944

By Laura - 20/03/2012 22:27 - United Kingdom - Girvan

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 3 701

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 496

You deserved it 6 823

By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 670

You deserved it 7 596

By desperate - 26/09/2009 14:15 - Denmark

Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 051

You deserved it 52 227

By grabber - 09/08/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 356

You deserved it 11 009

Best night out ever

By Dopeydancer - 08/09/2009 13:12 - United Kingdom

Today, after a few drinks with some mates at a bar, we were invited to the dancefloor with some girls. After some dancing and flirting, I felt a cheeky squeeze on my backside, and so I quickly returned the favour without looking back. A few minutes later at the bar, I realised my wallet was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 206

You deserved it 13 069

The Lady in Red

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 01:36 - United States

Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walked up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then said, "Could you hold me my drink?" and went to dance with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 202

You deserved it 3 918

pewp 5

Tuesday 10 March 2009 13:25

well, im assuming you are in high school since you went to a dance. so you may not have learned this quite yet, when you rub up on a guy's d*ck, it gets hard. what did you think you were rubbing up on when you were grinding with him? and what do you mean you stood up? were you laying down and grinding?

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:05

hhahahahahahahahahah

Comments

coffeentea 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 14:45

That's an FML? Sounds like a regular guy talking while high on testosterone.

MCart_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 16:02

#2 is right on, great cover line though... so mean it would work every time.

Yunie_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 17:11

@ $5: It's not that hard to understand. His underwear and pants weren't thick enough. Hell, he could've easily been going commando.

adelaide_evening 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 17:15

Maybe it wasn't the hard-on that made her step away, but if she felt something moving, maybe she thought he was about to ****. I don't think someone would step away from someone who they're grinding with because they think he has a hard-on, since that kind of is the whole point of grinding.

Kitten125 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 17:24

I would never give him anything ever again. Teach him to talk to you like that.... asshole. :P

Diarrhea_Volcano 29

Tuesday 21 July 2015 19:18

What the hell are you reading

cuttybuddy 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 17:37

#4 is so obviously correct. don't grind on someone and then get offended when he gets excited. thats like sticking your hand in the garbage disposal while its on and getting upset when your hand gets cut off. what did you think was gonna happen?

Renae123 0

Friday 14 October 2011 2:02

Lol nicely said.

choppedNskrewed 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:06

lol @17

kandy_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 19:15

He was probably lying. Guys will say anything to get out of the embarrassment of being caught with a boner.

itchyballs 0

Tuesday 6 July 2010 3:27

I wanna **** u #20

Miss_the_Man 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 16:42

Eeeehm, swhut?

imkool136 22

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:33

If you were grinding up on me, I wouldn't come up with some stupid excuse, I'd straight up tell you, ya, sorry, you're hot, you have an ass...

RoyalMGN 8

Saturday 23 April 2016 18:23

I get boners from reading history books it's random tbh

Edmund_Dantes 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 19:26

#19 there's a big difference between touching and grinding. Grinding is dry humping, which is the specific motion for which we are biologically inclined to get aroused. And assuming this is high school, or possibly junior high, it's understandable for the guy to be embarrassed about his reaction. Because teenagers are idiots and don't really understand what's going on.

69_jackson_69 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 2:07

First of all, here, grinding is a circular/side to side motion. And **** you for being a stereotyping asshole against teenagers. But usually being racist I can tolerate. And I don't live in Texas.