Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends....

By Anonymous - 20/08/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 777

You deserved it 66 980

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Same thing different taste

By Titi14 - 04/03/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 557

You deserved it 25 968

Spit take

By gatorhead - 09/09/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 476

You deserved it 2 502

By Anonymous - 17/01/2010 13:44 - United States

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 189

You deserved it 2 722

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 437

You deserved it 4 059

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 883

You deserved it 3 270

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 3 711

Food flight

By ashley_skillz06 - 24/01/2010 05:21 - France

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 360

You deserved it 7 403

Panic!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 481

By levi Glasscock - 15/04/2011 13:52 - United States

Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 134

You deserved it 2 982

Big Joel strikes again

By jpaylay - 10/05/2023 00:00

Today, while watching YouTube, I was drinking when something funny happened. I laughed, choked, and threw up all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 265

papertigers_fml 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:25

Classy.

Jonasgl 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:16

so what was so funny? ;P

Comments

blowyourspeakers 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 13:01

....fml? nah i actually wish it was me, lol.

Einstein714 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 13:02

what's the fml, I thought this was funny

tenkenshi 2

Thursday 20 August 2009 13:06

Whoever had to clean up after you was probably swearing at you in front of your face in a different language.

matthewscott661 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 13:07

why do things like this always happen at chinese restaurants?

aback 4

Thursday 20 August 2009 13:09

Probably laughed even harder when your fortune cookie read: "Get out, and don't come back."

FreddyLunch 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 13:10

That's how all Chinese restaurants should kick people out.

Gavik 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 13:25

jesus christ what the **** is wrong with you people?

Rasputia 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 13:36

Oh, me so sorry!! You like pedicure? You want short nail or long nail? You pay now??? Okay, you pay now....it's betta for youuuuu.

Serafie 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 16:59

#19 summed it up well.

nickyzinks 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 18:11

Exactly. Well said.

poison29 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 20:28

agree. that's also incredibly rude to the staff that has to clean up your vomit and piss.

shamille 5

Friday 21 August 2009 0:26

YOU LEAVE STORE NOW! NO COME BACK EVA!

Sokai_fml 0

Friday 21 August 2009 3:42

LMAO, #71, I'm Asian and that made me bust out with laughter. xD;

fastcared 1

Thursday 20 August 2009 13:43

hardly an fml

Jimboom 11

Thursday 20 August 2009 13:44

Wow. You guys must be the life of the party... assuming the party was a water sports and other bodily fluids sex party.

ahoyhoy123 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 13:45

Woah. You and your friend sound like a bundle of fun!! ha. funniest thing iv heard all day.

ben_wah_balls 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 13:49

LOL.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

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I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 117

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I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 14 749

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 41 865

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I agree, your life sucks 16 627

You deserved it 30 796

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I agree, your life sucks 2 450

You deserved it 269

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I agree, your life sucks 3 698

You deserved it 372

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I agree, your life sucks 16 815

You deserved it 58 531

Today, after months of all my friends telling me that the guy whom I was in love with most definitely held feelings for me, I was finally convinced by their words, and with confidence I went and confessed my feelings to him. I was rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 827

You deserved it 2 005