By rescuetheduck - 10/04/2012 19:26 - Finland - Joensuu

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML
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Top comments

AnyaS 19

Should've gone with your second reflex then.

152 5
Jakesterk96 8

Wow, I hope your elbow is alright.

119 18

Comments

saintsrocksocks 10

My first reflex at a grocery store when somebody tries to bear hug me is embrace the love. My first reflex in a dark alley is to elbow them in the face.

26 4
sincerelyjay 13

I can only imagine how heartbroken he was. :( FHL.

21 1
rajdeep 8

its not your fault, its not like you knew who it was.

14 1
DocBastard 38

You sound like a ******* badass! My first instinct would be to grab my wallet and run, but I guess that makes me a pussy. You, on the other hand, viciously attack people trying to hug you! Badass! Are you related to Chuc...never mind.

41 6
THExistentialist 13

don't be afraid to ask, Bastard. I'll answer your question fearlessly- he is in fact related to Chuck E. Cheese, notorious for elbowing small children, wheelchair people, old ladies, and special needs folk with his big furry 'bows. He found it so HUMOROUS, he made sure it would be a genetic trait so that his children would entertain him with the constant accidents and humiliation, (and on their part, greenstick fractures) caused by their elbow-to-any-random-face ticks. Although the trait did not appear until his seventh child (Tibia Claviclella), of which he was so proud, he brainwashed her into being an anti-contraception **** so that her many, many babies would contribute significantly to the statistics of black eyes, ocular trauma, and epistaxis around the world, he trained his other six children to be paranoid of anything they sensed behind them and react with elbows. as such, OP comes from a Long line of elbowing and embarrassment.

27 4
cassidy0922 6

How long did it take you to write that enormous, histarically funny, 'please speak english', passage? It would've taken me hours to look up all those words.

7 1
THExistentialist 13

it took 45 seconds. and its all in English. I didn't look anything up. I'm a NR-CMA. O.o which word confused you? epistaxis?

0 0
cassidy0922 6

Yeah, pretty much. I don't do well with big, fancy words.

0 0
THExistentialist 13

gasp! whats your disability now? I think my mother was elbowed in a convenience store by a 560 pound eskimo-guido hybrid transvestite for trying to take the last Klondike bar out of the ice cream freezer, pregnant with me, cause when I was due they cut me out of her like an animal due to my being strangled in my umbilical cord, which stole away a lot if oxygen, and now I'm a lifelong hearing impaired person. elbows people! elbows!

27 6
THExistentialist 13

true story, though. 70 dB loss. ridicule as a child. all because of elbows.

14 2
teriyakioxo 4

I can understand the situation, I've worked with special Ed, and it's easy to mistake a hug for a grab if they come up behind you. (they do hug hard people it's no joke) I just hope you apologized a million times FYL

18 0
THExistentialist 13

well, the part about being deaf- not the Eskimo. I'm not SURE he was Eskimo, could have been native American. THE POINT BEING IS THAT ELBOWS CAN CAUSE LIFELONG SCARRING AND SOMETIMES EFFECT FUTURE GENERATIONS! there. took me three senseless comments to figure out how to make my point. I'll just go now.

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Sab0026 0

:/ aww I feel bad for the patient... But I can't blame you for defending yourself, it was a good reaction to perceived threat, but bad perception. I hope he understands and is ok and your relationship with him recovers! =)

15 0
elerbears 9

i hope when he gets better you can return the hug. :)

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