Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards....

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By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 939

You deserved it 44 873

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By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 354

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 449

You deserved it 7 723

By Anonymous - 04/07/2014 19:04 - Netherlands

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 968

You deserved it 3 438

Surprise

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 343

You deserved it 4 365

By mathii - 23/07/2011 23:52 - France

Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 779

You deserved it 6 173

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 302

You deserved it 55 381

By megan - 01/04/2015 17:56 - United States - Lutz

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 216

You deserved it 2 477

By anonymous - 10/06/2009 22:50 - United States

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 740

You deserved it 4 678

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 159

You deserved it 6 242

By t - 17/05/2011 03:26

Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 773

You deserved it 6 161

Heartless234 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:18

Aw that's embarrassing. Hey sometimes I choke on my saliva :D.

mannix_fml 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:12

It was mean't to be, dum dum!

Comments

123g33yan123 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 4:41

actually..................... when u say your choking on a liquid your not actually choking on a liquid. U have two tubes in u wer everything that goes in your mouth goes through. One is for all the food & liquids that u eat and drink.(the tube that the bottled water was suppose to go through).The other is for all the air that u inhale and exhale.The tube that leads to your lungs. She drank the water and it unfortunatly ended up in her lungs.So when your coughing alot on liquids it's your body's way of getting the liquid out of your lungs.

pleasedonttellme 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 5:11

YDI for drinking bottled water you know tap water is the same but cheaper!!

amstillives 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 5:25

Don't ever drink water from water bottles. Think green BITCH! YDI DUMBASS

Shyman4ever 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 7:06

Fail

SirAwesome 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 7:14

Honestly, the world would be a better place if you choked to death. Weed out the morons form the gene pool.

BreezyPear 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 7:42

I don't think this is an FML. If anything it's just ironic, in fact it sounds like something from a movie.

Swimmergrl 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 9:50

well did he hive you CPR?

ak7987 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 10:19

u can't choke on water

winemysavior 4

Wednesday 12 August 2009 11:20

holy **** how did this make it through? Not an FML 1) you flirted with the lifeguards 2) he flirted back and said he'd give you cpr 3) you choke. even if you said you wouldn't need it, it doesn't make you look stupid, it only pleases him that he may get to do cpr on you. this 'fml' is the worst