Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards....

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 937

You deserved it 44 867

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By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 349

You deserved it 509

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 445

You deserved it 7 721

By Anonymous - 04/07/2014 19:04 - Netherlands

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 954

You deserved it 3 437

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 4 365

By mathii - 23/07/2011 23:52 - France

Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 772

You deserved it 6 170

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 55 375

By megan - 01/04/2015 17:56 - United States - Lutz

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 208

You deserved it 2 474

By anonymous - 10/06/2009 22:50 - United States

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 731

You deserved it 4 676

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 148

You deserved it 6 230

By t - 17/05/2011 03:26

Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 771

You deserved it 6 160

Heartless234 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:18

Aw that's embarrassing. Hey sometimes I choke on my saliva :D.

mannix_fml 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:12

It was mean't to be, dum dum!

Comments

canadiangirl007 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 22:45

Bahaha. I am a lifeguard and I love it when people like you do things like that! Keep it up!

XxMaiWeingxX 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 22:48

you put a water bottle down your throat?

dcstream 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 0:13

Were you at least able to fit half of it in before you began choking? He would have been impressed with that.

shellybean87 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 1:00

looks like you needed assistance. did he give u cpr? lawlz! 

AMelodyofJuly 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 1:09

So....did he give you CPR? ;-) ;-)

xmeggbaabe 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 2:22

Did he give you CPR?

toosoonbreh 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 3:07

You can't ******* choke on liquid. Stupid ass bitch.

19fml18 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 3:28

How did you manage to do THAT?

Melancholics 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 4:20

whoever is 'LOLing' or think this is actually funny have no opinion and just say 'LOL ! this is hilarioussss !' just because it's a FML and they're very suggestive.

danimals2011 1

Wednesday 12 August 2009 4:34

i feel for you. i choke on everything. and since everyone here is so picky i guess i choke on food and my liquids accidently go down my wind pipe. but the point is its embarassing. one time i was choking on steak while eating dinner with my best friend, dad, and sister. they are so used to it they continued with there conversation while i fell out of my chair stopped being able to make noise and started to black out. thankfully it finally came back up.