Work: Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush...

By StudMuffinette - 18/07/2011 19:40 - United States

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 274

You deserved it 2 979

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Same thing different taste

By Puppylove - 26/02/2013 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 908

You deserved it 10 292

Checks out

By Asirual - 02/05/2011 18:02 - United States

Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15-minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 415

You deserved it 13 196

By loserllamalick - 07/10/2013 14:32 - United States - Rochester

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 722

You deserved it 39 684

By cutup - 11/07/2012 17:54 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 525

You deserved it 6 434

By xtammyle - 19/02/2013 07:01 - Australia - Lower Plenty

Today, I walked in on my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 602

You deserved it 4 510

By workaholic - 15/02/2012 11:09 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 263

You deserved it 3 012

By Stixchop - 26/02/2009 23:21 - United States

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 295

You deserved it 54 906

All shook up

By tongue tied - 16/08/2022 04:00

Today, at work at a beauty salon, I was explaining to a mom and her daughter about how we were going to style their hair, and the processes involved. I tripped over my words, saying, "We’ll start with a wash and a blowjob." Pretty sure from the way they stomped out I might not have a job tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 195

By tickdog - 19/03/2012 03:09 - United States - Rockwall

Today, I got my dog back from my aunt. Rather than taking him to an actual groomer, I gave him to my aunt because she needed a few extra bucks. My generosity lost me $35, and gave my dog ticks and a bad haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 879

You deserved it 5 475

Who the **** is this guy?

By Username - 06/08/2011 07:09 - United States

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 977

You deserved it 2 941

StudMuffinette 17

Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:35

finally my fml gets posted :D

speshlk37 13

Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:34

tell her to "shave this..."

Comments

simon_lala 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:23

and she can pay you again for that.

hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3

Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:27

back at the kennel we breaded a shi tzu and a bull dog, you wanna know what we called it

knocking 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 6:49

Ew you breaded two dogs? What did you do, deep fry them after that? By the way, the joke you were trying to make is old and lame? For future reference, bread - a type of food, generally used to make sandwiches breading - what you do to chicked to make friend chicken breeding - the act of mating two dogs (or another animals) bred - the past tense of breeding, the word you should have used Examples: I am making a sandwich. Where is the bread? Mmm, this chicken is good. What kind of breading did you use? I am breeding my two purebred dogs today. I bred my dogs two weeks ago. And there's your english lesson for the day. :P