Animals: Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left...

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 022

You deserved it 17 427

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 896

You deserved it 4 041

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 725

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 265

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 543

You deserved it 3 838

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 285

Chance encounter

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 252

You deserved it 3 580

By goldenpuppy - 19/05/2016 20:54 - United States - Somerville

Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 146

You deserved it 1 083

By swirkishly - 24/11/2011 16:06 - United States

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 992

You deserved it 10 012

By ciotter - 08/01/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 596

You deserved it 5 396

Scratch that

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 07:59 - Germany

Today, I got a painful scratch on my nose. Nasty kitty? Nope. I never imagined a dried booger stuck in my handkerchief could be this hard and this sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 313

sushi_samurai 3

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:05

Warning: lame joke below. That mouse has his eye on you...

nancem 7

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:02

Evidently fear is not a factor for you!

Comments

SkardeyKat 3

Wednesday 16 November 2011 3:50

It's totally normal to pick up mouse guts off the floor and squeeze them to see if they're solid. How else will you learn what mice are made of?

carrol 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 4:35

Oh, my god!

causticgirl 6

Wednesday 16 November 2011 4:41

Mmmmmm a little jelly for your toast

dj8798 9

Wednesday 16 November 2011 5:22

FYI eyes don't retain their round shape after death. so it was prob a nut. next time taste it. lmao that was so gross I'm sorry.

cykotic101 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 5:23

What possessed you grab it and squeeze? Why not just poke at it?

graham11 14

Wednesday 16 November 2011 5:33

Someone put steroids in the cheese

Yetifoot 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 5:44

Why would there be mouse heads in someone's room?

cassi135t 1

Wednesday 16 November 2011 6:57

Finds a bomb: Oh, yah I don't know what it is so... yah I'll just throw it on the ground and see what happens. Same scenario, ends bad.

InfernoVivo 12

Wednesday 16 November 2011 7:03

Well, I SEE what your problem is...

blacksswan 10

Wednesday 16 November 2011 9:44

Lol cats bring home dead animals in form of presents for their owners to express their appreciation for all the owners do for them. They don't know we find that nasty. This is another reason why I keep my baby indoor. Hahahha poor you OP. How did it taste o.o gross.....

shrdlu 28

Thursday 17 November 2011 23:44

Not only that, but my favorite cat ever, not having any kittens of her own, tried to teach ME how to hunt, the same way her (cat) mother taught her. She got as far as lesson one with me several times, but finally gave up because I showed no interest at all.

blacksswan 10

Friday 18 November 2011 3:18

That's so cute!!! I love kitties! Sadly mine was taken away from her mom at a young age and put right into a foster home where I came across her 5 months later so she has no hunting skills what's so ever or any idea about what the outdoor world is like so I keep her inside for her own safety. Only once in a while I take her into my yard for fresh air and she either sits around looking confused, munching on grass, chasing flies lol. I watch her of course.