Animals: Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left...

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 022

You deserved it 17 427

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 896

You deserved it 4 041

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 725

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 265

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 543

You deserved it 3 838

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 285

Chance encounter

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 252

You deserved it 3 580

By goldenpuppy - 19/05/2016 20:54 - United States - Somerville

Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 146

You deserved it 1 083

By swirkishly - 24/11/2011 16:06 - United States

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 992

You deserved it 10 012

By ciotter - 08/01/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 596

You deserved it 5 396

Scratch that

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 07:59 - Germany

Today, I got a painful scratch on my nose. Nasty kitty? Nope. I never imagined a dried booger stuck in my handkerchief could be this hard and this sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 313

sushi_samurai 3

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:05

Warning: lame joke below. That mouse has his eye on you...

nancem 7

Tuesday 15 November 2011 19:02

Evidently fear is not a factor for you!

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 15 November 2011 20:39

At least it's not rats.

imcharp 5

Tuesday 15 November 2011 20:49

Next time he rolls his eyes at you just pick them up and roll them back. Hahahahaha

chels1994 11

Tuesday 15 November 2011 20:55

If I was cleaning up mouse parts, I wouldn't be "squeezing" anything

SkrillexXD 6

Tuesday 15 November 2011 21:00

Yumm...

colberding 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 21:07

Yes because when I see something round on the floor I squeeze it...duh

pock_fml 2

Tuesday 15 November 2011 21:08

blank_jack, I live in the countryside with two cats and yes it is normal to find mouse remains all over the place, anything from a gall bladder to a whole one, although never a ball. At least I was lucky not to step in intestines today... CoconutSoup & FYLDeep, the UK is officially rabies free, with the last case in England over 100 years ago. I don't KNOW why I did it. I just really, really didn't think anything would happen...

FYLDeep 25

Tuesday 15 November 2011 21:41

That's good to know. I guess just take what I said as general advice. For people in the US, if you've been bitten, or have had blood to blood contact with a wild animal, at least bring the animal in to get it checked out. They can still find out if the animal was rabid with enough time to give you the vaccine afterwards.