Health: Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the...

By ouchmytits - 28/03/2011 06:42 - United States

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 749

You deserved it 4 588

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By roadbikemama - 25/10/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 267

You deserved it 11 133

By burnt - 13/08/2012 04:43 - Australia - Middle Swan

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 150

You deserved it 3 360

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 486

You deserved it 6 967

Mush

By Tired Tater - 05/06/2023 20:00 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 1 466

Kitchen nightmares

By Clumsy - 24/08/2021 11:01 - Brazil - Niterói

Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 201

By foolmetwice - 16/05/2011 14:28

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 093

You deserved it 40 109

Clumsy

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 20:02

Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 280

By klutz - 25/08/2010 04:14 - Canada

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 210

You deserved it 9 715

By HarvestMoon_gal - 24/07/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 106

You deserved it 10 661

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 558

ChrisLTC 3

Monday 28 March 2011 12:47

Now when you flash your boobs it will look like they are winking!

FMLephant 2

Monday 28 March 2011 12:55

One pound of potatoes, boiled and peeled, mayonnaise, celery, dill weed, a little mustard, and half a nipple. Season to taste.

Comments

dotty23 0

Monday 28 March 2011 12:36

Oh my gosh. Not to be mean or anything.. but I think That's hilarious. The "losing the nipple to Potato whatever you made." 

AkuskaUK 6

Monday 28 March 2011 12:37

exactly what I was thinking!

applecaketree 0

Monday 28 March 2011 12:42

Ouch! How can anyone deserve that? FYL OP :(

ChrisLTC 3

Monday 28 March 2011 12:47

Now when you flash your boobs it will look like they are winking!

nate_msm 0

Monday 28 March 2011 12:55

epic

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Monday 28 March 2011 14:50

lol

alex1432 9

Monday 28 March 2011 23:43

good one

FMLephant 2

Monday 28 March 2011 12:55

One pound of potatoes, boiled and peeled, mayonnaise, celery, dill weed, a little mustard, and half a nipple. Season to taste.

craaazymonkey 0

Monday 28 March 2011 12:57

Tssssssssss

sarapsosis 1

Monday 28 March 2011 12:59

exactly what I was thinking too!!

stewie71 3

Monday 28 March 2011 13:02

Okay. Losing "half a nipple" to potato salad? Oh. I see. Cooking in the nude again w/ your large breasts. Good thay the knife was sharp.

nohugs4u 8

Monday 28 March 2011 15:12

wut

xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11

Monday 28 March 2011 13:04

Who wants some boiled boobs??

Fx13mz 7

Monday 28 March 2011 13:07

Pics or it didn't happen.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Fat Customers Am I overreacting? Love Social Media Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I was been accused of stealing lunches from the fridge at work. I’m a huge germaphobe and would NEVER eat someone else’s food, but because I’m the fattest one in the office, everyone automatically blamed me. Hashtag fatgirlproblems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 154

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 3 963

The Top

Today, I've been talking to a chick since early this year and she seems to like me a lot. We were both drinking heavily and were talking on the phone, having a really good time. Suddenly it hangs up. I get her back on the phone just a few minutes later only to hear her getting the bottom knocked out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 274

Today, I found out that my wife is seeing a marriage counselor. With her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 885

You deserved it 914

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 months told me he doesn't know how he feels about me because he's not excited when we meet and doesn't miss me when we don't text for a while. He decided to tell me this while we were laying in bed right after having sex for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 211

You deserved it 1 227

Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 165

You deserved it 3 676

Today, while helping at my grandma's church, the new Orthodox Priest encouraged me to come to confession because he was sure I would have "a lot of stories to tell" and finished by seductively winking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 640

You deserved it 344

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 041

You deserved it 3 860

Same thing different taste

Mush

Kitchen nightmares

Clumsy

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

Top comments

Comments