Intimacy: Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my...

By jimmy - 19/08/2011 21:57 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 178

You deserved it 4 530

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 18:20 - United States - Fresno

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 369

You deserved it 5 754

Check this

By Anonymous - 05/11/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for a routine check up. I also found out I have an incurable STD and that I’m pregnant. I’ve been married to my husband for 7 years and have never had sex with anyone else in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 148

What a feeling!

By numbcrumb - 18/09/2017 23:15

Today, I discovered I have a condition that causes loss of feeling in my clitoris during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 942

You deserved it 306

By DDD - 31/01/2009 15:04 - France

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his Facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies, asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 392

You deserved it 66 778

Totally deserved

By Clap - 22/07/2022 10:00

Today, I found out the coworker I was seeing gave me the clap. She resigned two weeks ago and isn’t answering her phone. I can’t blame my wife because she was a virgin when we got married, and has only been with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 6 515

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

By luckygirl - 13/10/2015 16:20 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 708

You deserved it 6 244

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 033

You deserved it 47 399

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 416

You deserved it 3 890

By Mini-wanker - 18/10/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 546

You deserved it 8 866

Awahso 25

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:31

Sounds fishy...wait that was a lame pun. That sucks though man.

ashyxlynn 3

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:35

you do realize you can get crabs other ways than just sex right?

Comments

Tdog4lyfe 6

Saturday 2 November 2013 11:24

I hope you know, sexual intercourse isn't the only way to get an STD or STI.

avril2nite 2

Wednesday 19 February 2014 19:39

You can get crabs from a toilet seat in a public restroom. That's why I don't sit on it.

niome_fml 9

Monday 1 September 2014 6:34

Aww cute. Hmm it's not you then.

ThisIsMyUsernam 21

Sunday 21 June 2015 16:48

God Damn Red Lobster, I knew something was up.

shannon2348 14

Monday 18 November 2019 3:25

you know sex isn't the only way to get crabs.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

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You deserved it 93

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

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You deserved it 3 475

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I agree, your life sucks 2 950

You deserved it 634

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I agree, your life sucks 2 652

You deserved it 304

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 850

You deserved it 23 599

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You deserved it 5 164

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You deserved it 4 896