Transportation: Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger...

By Aether - 03/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136 973

You deserved it 7 608

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 27/12/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 484

You deserved it 2 658

The gift

By bubblensuds1 - 28/10/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 795

You deserved it 3 101

Road rage gone feral

By 16590 - 15/06/2012 22:13 - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 340

You deserved it 4 850

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

By Anonymous - 24/02/2014 15:21 - United States

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 077

You deserved it 51 911

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 607

You deserved it 2 812

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 04:01

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 24/04/2014 15:35 - United Kingdom - Montrose

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 235

You deserved it 3 417

By Username - 13/05/2011 08:13

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 857

You deserved it 6 735

Emotional rollercoaster

By ehcanadianeh - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found $20 under my car seat, so I put it in the cup holder, only for it to fly out of the window while going down the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 001

You deserved it 12 360

PlasticShark 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:10

today's going to be sunny with light semen showers

Serial 2

Monday 4 May 2009 1:10

at least you weren't driving a convertible

Comments

sjl89 0

Monday 4 May 2009 4:55

whoa, thats sick. fyl def. i believe this, people have sex in cars all the time. nasty.

krisFrAnHeehar 0

Monday 4 May 2009 4:50

............................................wow!...........its basically all you can say

LAXer9393 0

Monday 4 May 2009 5:05

maybe it wasn't actually passenger window, but like the back seat window. that sounds more plausible. and yeah.. ten mph isn't fast..

hugme 0

Monday 4 May 2009 4:55

ohhhhh that suuuuuuuuuucks i'm sorry man, hopefully karmas mean the universe tends to unfold as it should

ps15 0

Monday 4 May 2009 5:27

12 is a dumbass no one goes on fml just to criticize stories we come to laugh, no one cares if they're real

prettygirlsonly 0

Monday 4 May 2009 5:45

way to go #136 ;)

jdkfgkjdfb 0

Monday 4 May 2009 5:51

Aw, GROSS! That's disgusting. Ugh. And you'll have to clean it up, too.

rraaaaaaaaaaaach 0

Monday 4 May 2009 5:54

thats ******* disgusting.

SarahHarahLarah 0

Monday 4 May 2009 5:56

That is just sick!! What a douchebag!

jayfx 0

Monday 4 May 2009 6:00

thats ******* gross.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Social Media Love Facebook Am I overreacting? AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 171

Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 702

You deserved it 3 146

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 500

You deserved it 4 685

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 285

You deserved it 5 063

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 2 821

Today, I was talking to this really nice guy who likes me, and he tells me he's packing. I asked him where he was going, he said Puerto Rico. And I said "LUCKY!" He replied "it's for the funeral". I forgot his grandma had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 62 047

Today, I can’t make it to my friend’s birthday party because my dog died this morning. I called my friend to inform her and she screamed at me because a "dumb animal" is more important than her best friend. Oh, and she asked me if that also means she won’t be getting a present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 459

You deserved it 130