Miscellaneous: Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to...

By brownieswillneverbethesame - 04/09/2011 06:18 - United States

Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 153

You deserved it 2 477

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Same thing different taste

Masterchef 2020

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 18:58 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 66

Random Access Memories

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 17:00

Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 292

By Anonymous - 11/07/2017 14:40 - United States - Higginsville

Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 244

You deserved it 2 654

By Anonymous - 25/11/2018 12:00

Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 051

You deserved it 266

Fermentation

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 08:28 - United States

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 732

You deserved it 40 818

By Anonymous - 10/02/2016 18:36 - United States - Milford

Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 328

You deserved it 2 015

Thanks

By badeats - 22/06/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in a Ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look of them. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 603

You deserved it 9 303

By MaggotMother - 20/04/2013 10:51 - United States

Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 494

You deserved it 7 605

Pizza party

By Newly Minted Canuck - 22/04/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 694

By Rachel - 02/02/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 263

You deserved it 3 293

lendalynn 5

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:04

I just threw up a little.....

perdix 29

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:15

. . . and Grandpa's missing, and Grandma seems uncharacteristically cheery.

Comments

brianjman14 22

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:00

I thought this FML was going to end in you eating a "special" brownie. But yeah, that's just ******* disgusting. FYL.

StaigeJ 0

Monday 5 September 2011 7:30

Haha I Thought the same thing

xXFAILBOTXx 1

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:56

I want one XD

bitchslapped22 14

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:02

*GAG*

Pusherman10 1

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:11

Save me from myself!!!

citymayer 7

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:22

Super gag.

skatingalyy 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:25

omg. I just threw up a little o.O

HushHushKeeKat 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:25

Granny's skin brownies: a step better than granny's hair pie.

ohmandapants 16

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:29

Apparently your grandma is a snake?

sematariux 7

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:32

I'm gonna ******* throw up

BloodyMary666 24

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:40

Ok, I´m gonna throw up now...ugh...

whitey317 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:50

This will make me check my brownies for the rest of my life

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The Top

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact that both of my roommates are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 558

You deserved it 3 748

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 493

You deserved it 15 058

The Top

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 835

You deserved it 5 813

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 365

You deserved it 3 125

Today, I bought a cake. I then immediately forgot what I was carrying, opened the door to my car, and tossed the bag into the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 4 136

Today, I have to listen to my flatmate complaining that ladies don’t shag him anymore since his dad in Saudi Arabia cut him off. Apparently, they show a lot of interest until he reveals his financial situation. The dude actually thought he was God's gift to women instead of a mobile ATM. What a tool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 145

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 289

You deserved it 24 813

Today, I broke my toe on a decorative statue I bought for our front yard. My husband warned me it took up too much space and was a hazard, and now I get to hear him say, "I told you so." FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 1 016