Animals: Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came...

By fencernick - 22/04/2009 10:40 - United States

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 728

You deserved it 9 462

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 20/08/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 524

You deserved it 49 961

By Anonymous - 14/04/2009 14:07 - United States

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 536

You deserved it 19 901

By shibs - 19/12/2015 14:30 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 298

You deserved it 1 855

By bouda - 15/05/2011 18:19 - France

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 070

You deserved it 7 555

Tasty

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 858

By theorifice - 16/06/2010 16:28 - Canada

Today, I was unbearably hungry, so I went to Wendy's, bought myself a Baconator and took it outside to eat on the patio. One bite in, I went back to grab a few napkins. Within seconds of my departure, a seagull snatched it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 168

You deserved it 43 306

By NightHawk4926 - 09/09/2015 22:15 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 341

You deserved it 1 751

Surprise strike

By Anonymous - 28/06/2020 20:02

Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 189

Alexa, play "I Ran" by A Flock of Seagulls

By John - 10/07/2013 02:48 - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 103

You deserved it 50 747

Tippi Hedren strikes back

By B_and_W - 21/11/2013 11:35 - France

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 026

You deserved it 4 948

mwdelo 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 16:11

Legs were burning? Maybe you should try eating less hamburgers....

deplorableworld 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 16:22

The bird had already taken a bite of it and yet you still ran with it? Were you planning on eating it still? YDI if so...

Comments

lunarlizard88 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 17:29

Office buildings can laugh? I never knew that! But seriously, the ENTIRE office building was laughing at you? I can just see you running, surrounded by birds and directing enough attention away from running, just to look up at the windows of an office building just to see if anyone was watching. Exaggerated FML.

airport_fml_fml 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 17:35

Its like a cartoon

Lady_Nevermore 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 17:41

ffs! just throw away the burger man, you want to eat it anyway with pigeonspittle all over it

had_a_bad_day 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 17:43

Way to be selfish dude

shamille 5

Wednesday 22 April 2009 17:46

yeah, that whole "They're more scared of you than you are of them" is BS

ladedum 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 17:58

HAHAHAHAHAHA. birds are the devil. pigeons especially.

voicegoesboom 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 18:09

that happened to me once too but the birds were seagulls and they were after my chicken fingers and instead of an office building it was an entire beach. But i didn't let them bite any..thats a little ****** up.

xf0rg0tt3nx 0

Monday 17 August 2009 0:20

Birds after chicken fingers? Cannibalism much?

laugh_boy 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 18:10

what?? were u ACTUALLY got chased by dozen birds... HAHAHAHA!!

ams7509 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 18:15

this story isn't even funny

bad_karma89 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 18:27

People who are saying he should've thrown it away: it's a matter of CONVICTION. I PAID for the burger, and I'm gonna EAT the burger. And I'll be damned if a couple of frickin' pigeons are gonna tell me otherwise! Give me my burger, or give me death! In other news... FML. I just adapted a Patrick Henry quotation to fit a story about hamburgers and pigeons. Henry is undoubtedly turning over in his grave.