Animals: Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came...

By fencernick - 22/04/2009 10:40 - United States

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 728

You deserved it 9 462

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 20/08/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 524

You deserved it 49 961

By Anonymous - 14/04/2009 14:07 - United States

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 536

You deserved it 19 901

By shibs - 19/12/2015 14:30 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 298

You deserved it 1 855

By bouda - 15/05/2011 18:19 - France

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 070

You deserved it 7 555

Tasty

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 858

By theorifice - 16/06/2010 16:28 - Canada

Today, I was unbearably hungry, so I went to Wendy's, bought myself a Baconator and took it outside to eat on the patio. One bite in, I went back to grab a few napkins. Within seconds of my departure, a seagull snatched it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 168

You deserved it 43 306

By NightHawk4926 - 09/09/2015 22:15 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 341

You deserved it 1 751

Surprise strike

By Anonymous - 28/06/2020 20:02

Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 189

Alexa, play "I Ran" by A Flock of Seagulls

By John - 10/07/2013 02:48 - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 103

You deserved it 50 747

Tippi Hedren strikes back

By B_and_W - 21/11/2013 11:35 - France

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 026

You deserved it 4 948

mwdelo 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 16:11

Legs were burning? Maybe you should try eating less hamburgers....

deplorableworld 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 16:22

The bird had already taken a bite of it and yet you still ran with it? Were you planning on eating it still? YDI if so...

Comments

magoo_fml 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 23:58

#5, vegetarian don't win shit, and this has nothing to do with your self-richeous choice to not eat meat. no one care and for some reason, this story sounds like bs. pigeons cant fly and eat at the same time

crabbb622 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 0:03

the way you worded this made it funny even though it wasn't extreme. nice work!

Mr_Positive 3

Thursday 23 April 2009 0:07

#69 - ridiculous. Those birds are too dumb to realize that they are full, they eat, crap, and eat again in five minutes - I do not think that all of us should donate our food we buy on earned money to pigeons. And as in for you, then get a good laugh out of the situation :) It may happen to anyone after all and I your coworkers don't think less of you because of this or anything!

bubs_AKA_vermin 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 0:07

rofl. that sucks.

vicxxx 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 0:25

Finally! a real FML!

mylifeisfuckeddd 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 0:49

this is the best and one of the very few fmls on this entire web site! i just keep picturing it! and every time i do i crack up!

were_giraffe 2

Thursday 23 April 2009 0:56

yeah ... don't eat around birds. I learned this the hard way once... eating a bagel around seagulls. They kept swooping my head to scare me into giving the bagel up.