Health: Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was...

By phonesnshit - 29/05/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 205

You deserved it 3 493

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Timing

By iliterallypoopedmyself - 19/01/2012 01:54 - Australia

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 767

You deserved it 3 884

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 256

You deserved it 1 735

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 222

You deserved it 3 219

Hey guys, check this out

By Sonic - 15/01/2010 16:50 - United States

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 450

You deserved it 30 916

By Crap - 30/07/2015 00:57 - United States - Seminole

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 178

You deserved it 1 709

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 721

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 021

You deserved it 5 401

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

By yolo is for shitheads - 09/10/2012 16:07 - United States

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 440

You deserved it 2 168

kamkak 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 12:24

why didn't you just have a portable phone with you?

towboatdude 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 12:28

Op sounds like you wound up in a shity situation there! I know I'm wrong for that but I couldn't pass it up...

Comments

aenemadreamer 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 14:07

wow i've fyl'd for this and the previous two fml's. sheesh....

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 29 May 2010 14:14

@30 You're cute but in a creepy way!!

smiley_ily 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 14:07

haha, I agree with with #1 and at least the person on the phone didn't have to hear your business if you had any and at least you got to go to the bathroom faster (:

smiley_ily 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 14:13

sounds*

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 29 May 2010 14:12

I don't think they really mean it. They're just trolling. If you said you were from Mars, people would be like... "Those damn martian f*ckers. Why don't they go back to where they came from and stop stealing our women and raping our jobs" All the Canadian women on this site are "hawt"!!!!

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 29 May 2010 14:17

Invest in a cordless phone. Also, you can do your stanky business, then get on the phone and dial back the last caller. That is, unless you have a phone from the middle of the last millenia.

alex112094 5

Saturday 29 May 2010 14:30

yea 26 got a problem?

irishdad 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 14:32

to all Americans who said positive things about Canada ,thanks I'm canadian and proud. and **** nut #11eat something...start with shit

ladidalisa 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 16:39

agreed.

MrSassypants 33

Saturday 29 May 2010 14:32

dude what's up with all the FMLs about taking dumps not in a bathroom or not having toilet paper or getting nuked while stuck on the toilet like big deal. 