Love: Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if...

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 684

You deserved it 8 434

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 970

You deserved it 14 590

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 686

You deserved it 3 477

By Djcc - 21/02/2012 18:03 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 988

You deserved it 7 117

By bugger - 22/02/2015 17:31

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 079

You deserved it 5 181

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 413

You deserved it 19 285

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 738

You deserved it 5 669

By what - 25/09/2013 14:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 933

You deserved it 8 835

By princess - 12/04/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 592

You deserved it 7 165

What have you done this time?

By rockefoe - 15/11/2010 20:49 - United States

Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 653

You deserved it 6 724

By grizzlybear - 27/06/2011 05:55 - Mexico

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 202

You deserved it 7 003

lakaiskate 12

Thursday 19 June 2014 21:04

He was only thinking with one head today

lil_miss_simran 15

Thursday 19 June 2014 21:04

That was rude of him

Comments

buffynovelli 14

Friday 20 June 2014 1:03

maybe you shouldnt have put him on the spot. Do you want him to lie and say he does love you when he doesn't? Never ask people if they love you and they haven't said it before.

buckdharma 37

Friday 20 June 2014 1:23

Maybe this Richard fellow is his alternate personality.

adoseofmicki 12

Friday 20 June 2014 2:32

No matter what, Dick will always love you. Unless you pull a Lorena Bobbitt.

NinjaDitto623 14

Friday 20 June 2014 4:18

Dump him and his dick.

sarahhanlen 11

Friday 20 June 2014 4:25

Ex-boyfriend right?

MissColey711 7

Friday 20 June 2014 4:48

That's a no

the_Jessicaaa 11

Friday 20 June 2014 4:58

At least he is attracted to u

WMFG16 14

Friday 20 June 2014 5:05

And spits when it's joyful

ProudDaddy 7

Friday 20 June 2014 5:59

At least you know he still finds you attractive lol

TheVurcle 10

Friday 20 June 2014 6:02

He sounds like he loves your ******, not you

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The Top

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 121

You deserved it 29 836

Today, for the fifth day in a row, I have awoken at 6 a.m. to the sounds of my roommate's guest's child screaming. If it's anything like the last four days, the child will continue to randomly screech every fifteen minutes or so for the next five hours. I work 13-hour night shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 033

You deserved it 2 760

The Top

Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 189

Today, our cat doesn’t care much whether she gets into my room or not. Except at about 3 a.m. each night. That’s the time she sits outside the door, meowing to be let in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 148

Today, I learned that one of my friends is in love with me. How did I find out? A punch to the face from the boy she's supposed to be in a relationship with, for "coaxing her away" from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 826

You deserved it 244

Today, I found an eviction notice at the apartment my boyfriend and I share. I always give him my share of the rent, and he pays it. Or so I thought. He’s been using our rent money to shower his side chick with gifts and expensive dinners. The worst part? The girl is my 18 year-old sister. He’s 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 149

Today, I was called a racist slur because I said I don’t like dogs. Funny how disliking dogs is a “red flag” but racism is OK. Yeah, uh huh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 200

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm not the gold star lesbian I've always claimed to be. In fact, I went through a terrible slutty hetero period in college. My mom was disgusted, and my Dad wanted way too many details. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 661

Same thing different taste

What have you done this time?

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