Love, Sex and Intimacy: Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm... - FML

By notmyday - 25/02/2009 23:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looked at my clock and said, "I have to go, 'Lost' is on in 20 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 063

You deserved it 8 966

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Spicy

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 913

You deserved it 7 113

Escape route

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Spicy

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 709

You deserved it 17 906

By 0h_Boy - 20/04/2016 20:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Spicy

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 904

You deserved it 2 546

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 649

You deserved it 4 734

Sex is out the window

By dfhgblsf - 05/04/2009 19:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about five minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom, so we stopped and she left the room. After waiting around ten minutes, I decided to check if she was OK. The window was open. She was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 673

You deserved it 36 604

Countdown

By unsatisfying - 28/10/2010 05:05 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 524

You deserved it 15 575

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 1 782

By Hikara - 13/04/2009 13:44 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 566

You deserved it 24 378

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 755

You deserved it 89 099

Watcha doin'?

By DamnThatsHarsh - 16/10/2009 18:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 430

You deserved it 4 356

Next

Top comments

BrandOldDucky 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 4:46

Wow. Step up your sex game bro...

Bauer_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 6:16

Hey, you can't miss an episode of LOST or else you'll be even more confused!

Comments

jpacker 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 4:40

ahahaha, dude i hate that show and thats possibly the funniest thing ive ever heard

mac222 0

Tuesday 11 May 2010 1:08

to true

GraceMarieC 13

Thursday 19 August 2010 13:52

Are you insane?!? Lost is freakin' epic!! :D

TeeHee124 0

Monday 23 August 2010 4:05

Sayeed is the best. Spoiler alert: Locke dies and the smoke monster is killed by Jack.

anormalperson 25

Friday 25 July 2014 22:43

well...everybody has their own opinion I guess.

BrandOldDucky 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 4:46

Wow. Step up your sex game bro...

Plumppotato 3

Tuesday 30 June 2009 20:28

its a compliment! can you keep it up for 20 minutes and not blow?

Samaki_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 5:02

Definitely worth it.

KenMcGormick 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 5:19

she is right

Huzzah 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 5:31

Lost = my life

hunkydory 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 5:38

lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! made my night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and sure, she couldn't watched it online, thus preventing your blueballs, but see lost is a show you watch when they first give it!

greenfairy_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 5:41

if she thought to look at the clock she must not have been that into it...

Vinny66 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 6:06

My TV shows come first! (get it?) But seriously, I don't miss my stories for anyone... I don't watch Lost but definitely for Survivor!

Bauer_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 6:16

Hey, you can't miss an episode of LOST or else you'll be even more confused!

Vintage_Cola 29

Saturday 13 June 2015 20:25

I'm not sure if this is a relevant similarity but it seems to me the same people who talk about these TV shows like it's their life have a similarity with those who play World of Warcraft, and that "insert TV show here = life," and that they can't miss a single event. However World of Warcraft is frowned upon but these TV shows aren't.

Lou_Briccant 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 6:29

Damn, you got ditched for a TV show. That ******* sucks. In all honesty, I'd dump her if she's gonna be like that.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Wanker Halloween Lonely Love Party Jealousy Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks YouTube TikTok Dogs Cute Work AITA

The Top

Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 720

You deserved it 5 036

...

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, an old man started telling me about the high price of meat. I told him I wouldn't know, since I'm a vegetarian. His reply was, "Oh, most vegetarians are slimmer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 926

You deserved it 9 006

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 839

You deserved it 1 890

Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 020

You deserved it 3 098

Today, I’m living in China and I asked my native boyfriend to read me the names of all the different goods at the bakery, so I can do more than just point next time. I realized why he doesn’t see the point, when he translated : "Bread, bread, bread, bread and… bread." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 221

Today, it's my birthday and I celebrated with friends. I now have 34 individual copies of the first Twilight movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 831

You deserved it 1 885

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 427

You deserved it 4 408