Health: Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being...

By 092492 - 05/03/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 541

You deserved it 3 993

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Same thing different taste

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 3 069

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 423

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 12:00 - United States - Ardmore

Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 156

By Anonymous - 17/07/2019 16:09

Today, I was using a disabled toilet. I'm disabled partly because of spinal problems. While I was doing my business, the whole toilet fell to the floor, leaving me sitting in a puddle of my own urine and smashed porcelain, with even more spinal problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 490

You deserved it 113

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 449

You deserved it 11 656

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 14/06/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have such poor joints that I dislocated my hip trying to twist to wipe my own ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 82

Slid right out

By Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 86

HELP! I NEED SOMEBODY!

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 16:00

Today, I stayed home from work because I'd had diarrhea for 24 hours and my gut felt horrible. I decided to at least enjoy some sun on my back porch in my swing chair. I stepped on an old board and my leg fell through to the knee, I couldn't move, and I was home alone. My neighbor cut the board that got me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 125

Help! I need somebody!

By Anonymous - 16/07/2022 16:00

Today, I just had knee surgery which has put me on crutches for 6 weeks. I fell on my ass after washing my hands after using the bathroom. Ashamed, my boyfriend and father had to pick me up. I destroyed the towel rack, ripping it of the wall. All this pain is now potentially for nothing. It's day 4 post operation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 130

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Sunday 6 March 2011 1:42

Do you wipe your ass with your feet then? I usually use my hands, so I don't see why I'd need to bend my legs, but FYL anyway.

marleyvk 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 1:33

I don't see how you couldn't wipe your behind without bending your knee... I'm pretty sure if you just stand up and spread your legs you could do it.

Comments

amsftw 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 2:18

haha just kidding I kind of exxagerated, it took only like two seconds.

charli_lake 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 3:25

wow your a looser

charli_lake 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 3:28

oops loser my bad haha

amsftw 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 4:03

how am I a loser? but okay.

amsftw 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 4:09

thank you! finally someone understands, lol.

ash14 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 4:19

it's not that it wasn't obvious. It was just stupid that's she's bashing on someone for no reason, and sucking at it by over-exaggerating.

ConfusionsLoveMe 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 7:40

I agree with 61.

kikibisweet 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 2:22

Exactly #21. If you cant BEND your knee, how did you SIT on the toilet??

dee70 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 3:16

when you have to shit you have to shit u find a way to do it but I agree I had knee surgery not to long ago and it sucked

valri3 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 2:23

Hahaha I seriously laughed at your misfortune. Sorry though. FYL

jmatx 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 2:26

that sucks ass

sallen0046 4

Sunday 6 March 2011 2:28

How does an inability to bend one knee make it impossible for you to wipe your own ass? Knees are not necessary for wiping. I'd understand if you couldn't bend your arms, but all this requires is a careful shifting of your weight. If you can make it to the bathroom, you can wipe.