Intimacy: Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having...

FML for mobile
Free

By BrittUnicorn - 06/07/2015 15:14 - United States - Morristown

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 647

You deserved it 3 679

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Woah

By Hopeless - 04/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying, “Woah no thanks.” Cool, I get rejected even in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 563

You deserved it 292

By HeadTrauma - 20/01/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 343

You deserved it 7 025

Lonely, so lonely

By Mike - 19/10/2021 14:01

Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 120

By mylifesucks22 - 29/12/2009 06:01 - United States

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream. I dreamt that I got a promotion at work and doubled my income, the dream was so great that I tried so hard not to wake up. When I did wake up it was 10 o'clock, two hours late for work I noticed I had a voicemail from my boss. I was fired for being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 579

You deserved it 32 222

Understandable

By Anonymous - 28/05/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that the dream in which I drunkenly phoned my boss and called him a "fat useless piece of shit" actually did happen. I woke up to 10 missed calls and 5 angry texts stating I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 3 250

Failure on every level

By Jason - 07/12/2022 06:00

Today, I had a beautiful dream. I dreamed that I somehow got into Stanford University, but in class I couldn't keep up with them. In reality, I'm terrible at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 142

What is wrong with my brain?

By slickrick22 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 856

You deserved it 4 027

By Anonymous - 17/11/2014 22:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 280

You deserved it 3 803

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 10:59

Today, I was taking phone calls. In my dreams. That's just how horrible my job is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 96

Alexa, play "Mind Games" by John Lennon

By Sleepy - 22/11/2023 07:30 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up to the realization that I had slept through my alarm, missed a crucial work meeting, and dreamt that I was the CEO of a company that manufactured alarm clocks. I now fear that my subconscious is mocking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 148

kaylizs 20

Monday 6 July 2015 19:23

Any dream about Chris Pratt is a wet dream.

jet223 20

Monday 6 July 2015 19:27

Well it depends on what you were sucking on. It could have still been a sexy dream.

Comments

hayleymaybe 12

Tuesday 7 July 2015 20:16

Being bossed around by Chris Pratt doesn't sound too bad to me.

nitrog100 21

Tuesday 7 July 2015 20:21

I don't think I could ever have a dream like that. If Chris Pratt was the boss in a dream, I think he would be in character as Andy Dwyer.

charlie_81 7

Wednesday 8 July 2015 8:28

How can any dream with Chris Pratt is a good dream to me! :)

X_the_Kid 6

Wednesday 8 July 2015 22:07

If starlord says so..

zykrithium 22

Thursday 9 July 2015 0:22

Sounds like you've been watching a little too much Parks and Rec and not enough Guardians of the Galaxy.

DeviousDreamer 13

Saturday 11 July 2015 18:24

Nawh, Chris Pratt is way too nice for that, he'd probably be more into constructive criticism.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Music Cute Work AITA Money Client relations Cops Kids Weird Cheating Renters Love Landlords Friends Transportation Cars Star Wars Bullying School My ex Ironic Intimacy Sex Parents Annoying Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Parenting

The Top

Today, my sister and brother in law went on holiday, so my 3 year-old nephew is staying with me while they’re gone. He walked in on me and my boyfriend while he was eating me out. It’s been an hour and he won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 576

Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 124

You deserved it 49 399

The Top

Today, I went searching for my old school laptop only to find that my stepdad had swiped it and given it to his mother. My sex tapes and nudes are on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 780

You deserved it 2 014

Today, I agreed to go on a date with this really nice guy. Halfway through the date, he started talking about his wife and kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 790

You deserved it 1 996

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that the reason why he tickles me all the time is because tickling really turns him on, and my ticklishness is "so fucking sexy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 342

Today, I returned home early from a week away for work. I was worried about my husband's mental health after a week alone with our two ADD kids. He wasn’t expecting me, but I was surprised to see the house cleaner than it had ever been, and our children happily reading on the couch. How did he do that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 551

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 376

You deserved it 5 506

Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 602

You deserved it 3 147