Intimacy: Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having...

By BrittUnicorn - 06/07/2015 15:14 - United States - Morristown

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 641

You deserved it 3 679

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Same thing different taste

Woah

By Hopeless - 04/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying, “Woah no thanks.” Cool, I get rejected even in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 290

By HeadTrauma - 20/01/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 335

You deserved it 7 016

Lonely, so lonely

By Mike - 19/10/2021 14:01

Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 119

By mylifesucks22 - 29/12/2009 06:01 - United States

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream. I dreamt that I got a promotion at work and doubled my income, the dream was so great that I tried so hard not to wake up. When I did wake up it was 10 o'clock, two hours late for work I noticed I had a voicemail from my boss. I was fired for being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 575

You deserved it 32 211

Understandable

By Anonymous - 28/05/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that the dream in which I drunkenly phoned my boss and called him a "fat useless piece of shit" actually did happen. I woke up to 10 missed calls and 5 angry texts stating I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 3 244

Failure on every level

By Jason - 07/12/2022 06:00

Today, I had a beautiful dream. I dreamed that I somehow got into Stanford University, but in class I couldn't keep up with them. In reality, I'm terrible at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 138

What is wrong with my brain?

By slickrick22 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 848

You deserved it 4 019

By Anonymous - 17/11/2014 22:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 274

You deserved it 3 802

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 10:59

Today, I was taking phone calls. In my dreams. That's just how horrible my job is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 94

Alexa, play "Mind Games" by John Lennon

By Sleepy - 22/11/2023 07:30 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up to the realization that I had slept through my alarm, missed a crucial work meeting, and dreamt that I was the CEO of a company that manufactured alarm clocks. I now fear that my subconscious is mocking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 141

kaylizs 20

Monday 6 July 2015 19:23

Any dream about Chris Pratt is a wet dream.

jet223 20

Monday 6 July 2015 19:27

Well it depends on what you were sucking on. It could have still been a sexy dream.

Comments

iPixelCheese 19

Monday 6 July 2015 19:37

At least it's not really happening, because being told you suck, sucks

FitFriday 32

Tuesday 7 July 2015 9:26

Being told you suck by Chris Pratt still sounds pretty good

alvarny 17

Monday 6 July 2015 19:41

Did you set the dinosaurs loose?

KappaHD 9

Monday 6 July 2015 19:44

OP are you good at work, Or is Chris Pratt right?

simply_meeeee 26

Monday 6 July 2015 19:44

Any dream with Chris Pratt in it is a sexy dream

pheizer01 10

Monday 6 July 2015 19:45

Still awesome

ilovewhatthecut_fml 12

Monday 6 July 2015 19:48

Too much pressure...

maemismile 22

Monday 6 July 2015 19:49

I wish I had a dream with Chris Pratt...

tormcn 26

Monday 6 July 2015 19:49

I read Chris Pine.

uglytwin 15

Monday 6 July 2015 19:54

After reading the first sentence I knew this would be going downhill.

joshi42 16

Monday 6 July 2015 19:56

It was not "You suck!". It was " You! Suck."

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Christmas Cute Work Am I overreacting? Holidays Cats Gifts Awkward Shopping Health Friends Hair Relatable Poopoo peepee Money Education Animals Gross Intimacy Sex Cops Neighbours Love Smells Painful First Dates Social Media Grieving

The Top

Today, even though my bitch of a baby mama makes ten times what I make, the courts are still forcing me to pay child support for the two kids I never wanted. I’m way too busy with my life to have custody of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 1 045

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 53 113

The Top

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 498

You deserved it 46 695

Today, I learned the reason they say don't keep your phone in high humidity places. I left my phone on the counter when I went to take a shower. It now won't turn on due to water damage and the warranty doesn't cover it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 230

You deserved it 36 209

Today, I came home from surgery to remove my tonsils. It's a much better surgery to have as a kid, because when you get older it's much more painful. I didn't know my mom liked pain killers. I do now, because I have none left and I haven't even taken any yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 009

You deserved it 101

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 705

You deserved it 5 790

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 701

You deserved it 18 556

Today, I've loved for years that my boyfriend works at an animal shelter, but I learned from his coworker that he’s the guy that puts the animals to sleep, full time, sometimes 30 a day. Now I’m disgusted to sit in the same room as him, because he always says he loves his job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 424